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Hello I was wondering if anybody could help or at least offer empathy, I am a difficult situation where I have a permanent job ( although now coming up for redundancy) and do agency temping too. I work long hours with extra hours at short notice and at weekends and hours which are unsocial. This makes a social life difficult and going ot the gym also a challene at times but the main challenge is that it is difficult for me to see my son.
I am separated and my ex only allows me to see him when she can do also so I only ever see him when she is there which reduces the times I can see him even more especially as she works far more than a full time hours for work and unsocial hours including shifts changing at short notice?
If I could see my son when suited me and I was negotiating with my ex then I could spend more time with him and it would not get in the way of me working or being either physically/socially/politically active. I am very busy and it is good to make the most of being single to fill my time with positive activities and yet this is hampered by her work demands and possessiveness. It also means I go with my son where she wants to go and for how long etc ( usually a couple of hours which as a quanitity reduces my potential for quality time with my son).
What is currently upsetting me more is that my main job is going to become one where evenings shifts are worked which have been the times I see my son albeit not when I decide as she is not open to negotiating. The evening shifts also get in the way of my gym classes as that is when they are on and my political evening activity. The thought of seeing my son for less than once a week ( which I already feel is not enough) is terrible. The way my ex is doing it this way os only contributing to more animosity for multiple reasons when for my sons wellbeing I need to be calm around him.
I work in social care and support so many people and do so very flexibly and work hard at it and yet it feels when it comes to the most important areas in my life I dont get it which is unfair. I work in mental health around a lot of negativity and my 5 year old is a ray of light amongst all that which brings some joy to my life during a period of emotional pain.
Help.
Hi Damo, it sounds like you and your ex both have difficult work schedules to negotiate and there are other issues afoot too. Have you considered Mediation? It might help to have a 3rd party assist you both with agreeing a way forward.
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