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After 2 months waiting the day arrives. Im a tense nanny, hes a tense daddy. We have been given permission by the mummy to see her
But under rules , So here we are with a 7 hour day planned, we are scared as we think any second a text will arrive, sorry you cant have her, but no text phew !!. we arrive, alls well, we pick up one very poorly 3 year old , so swimming out of the window, next plan , food nope no appetite, park ok for a while , ducks ok swings good, but poor mite, so not well, we so want to take her home , watch a Dvd , snuggle up, take calpol. BUT NOT ALLOWED, we still have 4 hours to go . We go shopping spend money we havnt got, shes going to think seeing Dady is like Father xmas every two weeks. We go back to car , shes grumpy, falls asleep, we go to family pub, shes still asleep, shes [censored] poorly for god sake , yep maybe we should have said shes to poorly, but we have been waiting to see her again. So why couldnt we take her home , because Mum said we couldnt, as mum is right , isnt she !!!!!!!!
...Its not on is it ak57. Poor little love....
If I were you I would write down what happened today, how it made you feel not being able to give her the quality time she deserves, and the negative impact it had on her. How much better she would have felt in the warm relaxed enviroment of home, instead of being dragged about from one unfamiliar place to the next...especially as she wasnt well. The mother should have told you about it and provided Calpol for her. These are important points to make to show the impact of the mothers need to control you all, and the fact that she is prepared to put her feelings above what is best for her daughter.
Have you thought of approaching a hotel or guest house in the area where contact takes place, you might be able to negotiate a discounted price if you only want the use of the room for a few hours during the day. I'm often surprised at the kindness of people and their willingness to help when they know what is happening...
Reading some of the posts today, about the terrible way some women behave towards the fathers of their children, and how they dont seem to realize or even care what this is doing to their children.... well it makes me feel ashamed, even though I know there are many, many more good mums out there than bad....
Hi
Great idea to start making notes. To be fair she did put calpol in her bag, along with nappies !! I gave her some calpol then she fell asleep. What also worried me is although shes potty trained we arnt allowed to change her into pants as she got upset 5 months ago so she sends her in nappies, we changed her and she was dry and in the 7 hours didnt go to the toilet, didnt ask and when i asked she said no, even when she fell asleep she didnt. she had a drink of juice in the day.
Ive read other posts and Im almost ashamed to be a women, Ive also read storys on womens sites to get clues on why they do it, and it does seem to be a control thing and to get at the ex, but in our case it was such a brief relationship I wouldnt say she was a upset ex. Shes up to no good tho, as shes gone from this strong women role to shes acting scared when my son is picking his daughter up, Ive told my son , on no account must you be on your own picking her up, shes accused him of being angry with her and abusive(my son wouldnt hurt a fly hes so laid back its annoying) she has stated she has told the police and hes not allowed near the house, we have to meet down the road in a car park, one good thing tho is Im now the contact between them both and I agree with this as she winds my son up just to say , you cant have her if he dares say anything.
I have thought about the hotel or. b and b, but shes in a very remote area and very expensive, its a lovely place but you pay the price. The cheapest meal in the pub is £12. we can go to the nearest town,, which takes an hour on a bus. I have looked into every thing and without me driving it would be impossible and very unfair on a 3 year old. The papers are ready and being sent tomorrow, lets hope the court helps
...Good luck with everything, I would certainly mention the nappy thing and how upset she gets! Its awful to do that to her... and for what!
My son kept a journal in the run up to court and recorded everything that was said and done, all texts and phone calls, with dates and times...not just from the mother but from anyone involved with my grandson. It helped the barrister to present a better case for us in court. It would do the same for your son, will you be going into court with him? Because my son had legal representation, I wasn't allowed, it was quite a strain on my nerves I can tell you! We may well have to return to court about varying contact soon, but this time my son will be representing himself and I will be able to go in and assist him, although my daughter is thinking about going to The College of Law and so it might be a good experience for her.... I'll prepare all the paperwork though, and organize it so that my son has everything to hand and in the right order!
Hi
I was hoping to go into court as I know he will be really nervous and hes very quiet . I expect she will have a barristor as she will get legal aid. I think its so unfair we have to go through this just to get proper contact and overnight stay. We would be happy to just get contact to take her home first then wait a couple of months for over night, we dont want the poor mite distressed..
I did ring the court and she said I can ask on the day but sometimes they say no, but to explain on the form why I should be there, my son is slighty dsylexic and I know he will get tongue tied. Im hoping the mud wont be thrown , I think its straight forward , he only wants better contact andd overnight also a pr order so he can be put on the birth certificate.
I seem to remember reading somewhere that if you are self representing then you are entitled to have someone with you... I would imagine that the dyslexia would definately count as a good reason to have help.
Dont bank on no mud slinging! Be prepared for the worst and then everything below that is a bonus!
I seem to remember reading somewhere that if you are self representing then you are entitled to have someone with you... I would imagine that the dyslexia would definately count as a good reason to have help.
Dont bank on no mud slinging! Be prepared for the worst and then everything below that is a bonus!
I think what Nannyjane is referring to is a McKenzie friend and yes you are allowed to have someone with you.
Have you checked out this guide to representing yourself in court ? A lot of our community have found it very helpful.
Hi Gooner
Ive printed off the guide and anything else I could find, we have a date for the direction and things seem to be moving fast, in fact Im suprised how fast. I will be aking if I can be the McKenzie Friend .
Excellent - Sounds really positive. Hope it all works out. Please keep in touch and keep us posted on how its all going.
Gooner
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