[Solved] Likelihood of gaining primary care rights

I've been running a company with my ex since 2010. In 2011 she gave up her career to work for the company as HR, payroll and book-keeper. We've both enjoyed £6-figure salaries until this year. Last year I gave early warnings on failure of the company due to 3 staff (of 5 total) leaving within a month of each other. The workload remained high and all landed on me. Up to that point I used to enjoy a life a David Lloyd playing regular tennis and do all the morning school runs for our daughter. My ex at that time was drinking heavy and I tried many ways to get her to reduce. She was diagnosed with IBS 6 years ago and says a glass of wine at night makes her feel better. Then says a hangover in the morning is 10x worse for IBS sufferers. So one of the moves I did, as advised by father-in-law to reduce her late night red wines, is to make her responsible for the morning school runs. Make her get up early. This worked for a bit, but then the drink and bad moods kicked in. We bought an affluent house 2 years ago with 8 stables. She was meant to rent out those stables thus bringing income to the house and reducing the financial burden on me. She argues with everyone, so of course we had Liveries come and go. Now we have none. So everything is all on me. I was working 18 hour days just to keep the bills going, she was going to horse riding shows and leaving me at weekends to maintain the 14 acre grounds. I'm a self-made tree surgeon, Menage harrower, gardener, house maintenance guy, decorator while also running the family IT business and taking our daughter out at weekends doing things I've always done. I learned to live on 4 hours sleep, until one day, which is one of many, last May I finished work at 3am to find her asleep on the living room floor next to an empty bottle of red. I looked in the recycle bin and counted 8 bottles that week. She usually hovers between 4-5 bottles a week, but that week was plain and simply, more. I already expressed separating in October last year due to her excessive drinking and lack of family role support. We separated for 3 days back then but she promised to reduce. So we tried to work it out. As you can tell, we got to May and I couldn't carry on in this way any more. I said "separate" again, and said the only way we can work this out is if she adopts a 2 glass limit for life. It's fatigue that is getting in the way, the wine is clearly a contributor. Sort the wine and the rest will be easier to tackle, was my thinking. But she said no. She offered 6 months zero booze to "prove" it's not the booze. I said no, it's got to be a life change. We've tried many other ways, this is it. So we're deep in to divorce proceedings. The usual expected nastiness from her to me continues, spitefully were 2 occasions. One where we agreed a long time ago that a personal loan I took our for new carpets would result in property revaluation increase and therefore swallow it up in the next remortgage. She looked at me and said that debt was in my name and does not agree to putting that on the mortgage. The spiteful look in her eyes when she said "you better work harder than hadn't you" made me react with words only where I pointed a finger at her and told her that's exactly the behaviours that's led to this divorce, and walked away. She told her Solicitor that she was "Frightened" and now left unsafe with me. I've never ever lifted a finger to hard anyone or anything. I'm as soft natured as a person can be. The other time was when we agreed she's in charge of all food budget for our daughter, she when I was doing the school run recently, there was no usual breakfast in for her (slice of ham and bread), so I asked her to ask her mother (was still in bed). Waking in a mood, she summoned me and asked why I couldn't feed out daughter on route to school in the car. Highly unusual I thought, however she then told me i was no longer allowed to do school runs. Citing, if I can't be bothered feeding her then she'll take her to school. She told our daughter this, which I felt wasn't right, so I stepped in and told our daughter that I want to take her and that her mother is banning me. And that I love her so much, and sorry, so so sorry. My ex calmed down then after, sensibly, like I was always going to do, was offer cereal, which she accepted and ate. I took her to school and we parents both apologised to our daughter, These are the 2 nasty moments of any merit. I get called names daily. I sleep at the home all the time and my ex has found new friends and goes out a lot, sleeps away 2/3 of the nights over last 2 months. Loud music is often her thing. She has a Solicitor who has advised her to do very little, trying to create a norm of "unemployed wife who was always catered for". I'm not a rich footballer, Our business isn't able to make profit. The last 4 months are loss making. When I speak of dealing with the here and now, she always replies, scared of her future, not the now. If find this infuriating. Leaves me in a situation of inability to do anything, when I can see clear steps of able to do things about it i.e. both of us work. But she won't work. She is 43 years old, says that she's been out too long and can't get a job. I know she's deliberately self-sabotaging her CV but can't prove it. She's purely doing nothing, because she's been advised to do nothing. She wants every penny from our property, which is for sale, saying, for her to provide a home for our daughter, as primary carer, she needs as much equity as possible. She's then saying she has seen professional person and has a certificate saying she is incapable of work due to the IBS. I'm unsure if this is true. But she's after incapacity benefit or something like that. She also says our daughter needs to be in her primary care resident bed during school weekdays, and that I'm "allowed" to pick her up after school but have to take her home after. Who knows how far that might be, it doesn't sound like a practical and workable solution at all. It says to me that she's just after as much Child Maintenance as possible, using the term "sleep" in her favour. Then she wants Spousal maintenance. Basically trying to obtain as close to her £6-figure earnings she used to get. Yet she doesn't want to work for the company any more and now she is declaring herself incapable. Aside from all this, I have started to date another woman, it's very new, but my ex is expressing it as though it's a fully fledged relationship, and it's very far from that. I'm human and not had an intimate relationship for over a year. That means my ex and myself never touched each other in the 7 months prior to separation. For this reason, she's trying to use anything this woman does with me, as against me. She is a long term friend at David Lloyd, someone whom I've known 2 years ago and her child was in the same tennis lessons as my daughter. Now he's very happy we are back at David Lloyd. We rejoined David Lloyd 'after separation' as a means to give us all something new and happy back in our lives. for example, I arranged a play date with my daughters friend, prior to any adult relationship, friends only, and this was accepted by my ex. They had a play date at my home. My brother visited that weekend to help me with the gardening chores while my ex went showjumping for the weekend. For this reason, the mother of the boy stayed to help with the gardening. This is in fact the very act and reason why I then (after) said ok, but keep it low key and away from the kids. That meant a meal date was arranged. I received a letter from her Solicitor saying they can't believe I had the audacity to bring another woman in to the family home. She did gardening, for 6 hours while her son played inside and out, and then had an Indian dinner with me and my brother and then left. Like you'd expect. My Solicitor is taken aback a little by the unprofessionalism. So, as a result, my ex is building up a case saying she is "too scared" to sleep at home, I'm making her "mentally unstable" by pointing out her parental failures (basically I do all the house chores - she's saying i need to be far away for her to operate as a parent), and her IBS is unable to work. All this means she basically trying to destroy me, reduce my access to my daughter, and gain as much money as possible, for as long as possible. To her, it's all about money... to me, I just want to keep my daughter in her private school and equally shared between her parents. I wouldn't want to remove her mother from her. I believe once all this hate goes, behind will return a good mother, one without hate. That would be a nice day. I'm not materialistic. But, with all these "building up a case to destroy me", I'm wondering if I should really be the one going for Primary Carer role? If this is the picture she is choosing to build up for herself, then surely, because I'm willing to continue working to do the best I can to provide a new home, with a bedroom for our daughter, and with my work being basically self employed, I have flexible working so no harm to school runs and usual times marked for child care. I'm after a sensible work-life balance and now believe, so long as I continue to do right and be right, then perhaps I am the better Primary Carer. Last piece of information... my ex-s father is wealthy and can win any financial backing over my affordability. I have £500 a month to live on. My ex receives the same, officially, but I know for sure there's a boost feed she getting from somewhere. Another point... she will not drop the price of the property on the market saying that directly affects her assets. So no. And that she's willing to let this go on for 2 years, to get the sale value. Our business might not last that long. So I'm sure it's all scare tactics to make me sign an agreement that gives my ex loads of money. I need a home myself, is all I say. And then I need to work for "today".
I really want, what's fair... especially regards my daughter. I'm the one who always does things with her, especially days out and every weekend (for example, we garden together).

Any advice from anyone able to hear my story, would be a warm welcome. It's hard alone. I have no time, she has all the time in the world.