Wife is divorcing me and ruining me

Hello all, thankfully the criminal case was closed. 

The FDR was adjourned. However, nothing has happened really. I have agreed to go to  a mediation session but she still has yet to fully disclose her position. 

She wants a clean break.

I would like to suggest 60% of the FMH ( her home, no mortgage I have contributed nothing financially), a percentage of her shares and pension. she has three pensions two of which are final salary. In total they are worth about £400000 and mine about £45,000.

She has not disclosed about £70,000 of shares and money that was gifted to her in 2015 (about £150,000)

Does anyone think my expectations are realistic?

Hello All,

i have not been on here for a while because nothing has really happened.

Since my last post we both attended a mediation session. I was adamant that she needs to comply with the FDA Order she said that we can reach an agreement through the mediator without disclosure.

I agreed to continue with mediation remotely. She wanted us in the same room. I felt I would really struggle with that. So she refused to continue. Then her solictors said she would continue. However, nothing happened. Then she instructed new solictors. I heard nothing from them other than that fact they are respresenting her.

Then we received a new FDR date for this Friday. Today I was advised that it has been vacated again as we have not fully adhered to our FDA Order.

Our Decree Nisi also came through. She has agreed to not apply for the Absolute until finances have been agreed.

The proposed consent order from her new solicitors changed quite a few directions that were agreed in our original FDA Order. I have not agreed to this.

What is likely to happen with the pensions. It is likely her old final salary pensions will be considered?

This is dragging on and I really feel so vulnerable. 

I am convinced she has cash/assets hidden, possibly abroad. What are thoughts on forensic accountants as I have some dates when I recall her telling me she received money?

Hello, so since i last posted we have instructed pension experts, exchanged final questionnaires and calculated CGT.Our FDR hearing is in November and we are waiting for the pension report. I am not so sure she is hiding as much as I thought. However, i do know she has not disclosed the lifetime gifts she has received and she has closed at least 8 account since she left. I have also found a number of savings accounts that she has not disclosed. I found this out by setting her up as a payee. I did ask her to disclose them and she refused. I have also learnt that she has opened a new account that she has not disclosed. I plan to approach her about this after we have done our final disclosure 4 weeks before the FDR hearing. She now has applied for a litigation loan ironically our neighbour founded the company she has borrowed from and is a director. On that basis I am assuming she has spent her shares. So we will be working with the pensions and the FMH. I understand that litigation loans are not automatically split when dividing assets. I plan to get advice on the accounts she has not disclosed and am hoping her money is in one of them . Her solicitors are awful. They clearly thrive on agression, threats and their status. I hit rock bottom a few months ago as a result of their approach and now accept i need help. I have been prescribed anti depressants which do help. my life is this divorce as i am unable to pay for a fully instructed solicitor.  I feel quite dispondent now. I have decided to start a business. However I will need to study. The course is about £8000. I am considering asking the court to consider her continuing to pay for the gas/elec/and water for the next two years whilst I study. Do you think this reasonable? She has studied and used money that was built up during our marriage.  She gifted me £800 in 2022 because I simply did not have any accesible funds for my half of the summer holiday. The thing is i cannot see it on any of her statements which makes me think she has not disclosed all of her accounts. for some reason she has disclosed the last four years of one of her accounts and it is clear she has been abroad and is travelling to kent frequently. Could be work or could b e a new partner. I am envious as it seems she has  it good. Her family support her financially, she has a great deal of freedom and time for herself. I now suspect she is going to offer me half of the house and then top it up for the difference with our pensions which is about £200,000 if i agree to leave her pensions. I am unable to consider this as there is no way i will be able to increase my pension. I gave up my work to allow her to focus on her work and I looked after the children. To realise that she has been planning this divorce since 2012 really has affected me. I do not know who she is....

So if anyone has any advice regarding the non disclosed accounts, the forthcoming FDR hearing, asking for her to continue paying for the utilites please share with me.