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Two weeks ago my wife was caught out for tax credits fraud, over £40,000 worth of fraud! 4 days later (17/04/14) she left with our son and I haven't seen or spoken to either of them since. My father in law has told me that they are in a women's refuge, and phone records appear to prove this!
Is she making accusations of abuse in order to stay there? If so, why haven't I had a knock on the door from the police?
I filed a missing persons report for them both on the evening of 18/04/14. Yet when the police later called me back, they said they didn't consider them missing after speaking to her father! I started a huge Facebook search for them both and friends on both our accounts started sharing the search! I have had a meeting with CAB, but all they could advise was to seek legal help. I've been to a free legal clinic, and all they could advise was to apply for residence. But I can't afford the costs, as all my benefits have been cut off due to her tax credit fraud!
I feel completely helpless and alone, and I miss my son so much the pain is unbearable! I know it hasn't been a long time but for me it is agonising! I served in Iraq and Afghanistan and had more contact with him then!
I've had no visits from anyone wanting to interrogate me, no letters through the post, nothing! How long could it be before I get to see my son?
Help me please
I wonder whether she is doing this as a way to convince the court that your son is dependent on her, in the hope that she might avoid jail. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what you can do at the moment - I would say that you are going to need to file for divorce initially if that's the way you want to go. May be worth considering moderation also - there is legal aid still available for this.
Anyone else have any ideas?
I had considered that she may be up to something like that! But surely the courts would see straight through a plan like that! No?
I mean, she left less than a week after being caught committing tax credit fraud!
Perhaps her mitigation might be that you forced her to do it and she is frightened of you, going into a refuge would back this up....as she is in a refuge she will be entitled to legal aid for a solicitor if you take her to court for custody.
I would agree with the legal clinic, go for residence...I can't see any point going for mediation as she won't have to attend. You could though give the mediation service in your area a call and discuss it with them. Mediation is now compulsory before applying to court.
If its her first offence and because she has a child they will be lenient with her but £40,000 is a [censored] of a lot of money and so a custodial sentence could well be on the cards.
You could try contacting Childrens Services and asking them about the situation, I would think they will be involved as your wife is in a refuge. At least you could try and put your point across and ask them if they can arrange some kind of contact. Ask them to discuss arrangements if your wife is sent to prison.
Going to court is doable without a solicitor, lots of guys here are in or have been in the process. It might help if you were to attend a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area, they will give you advice and support about all aspects moving forward. Here's a link to their webpage where you will find details of meetings in your area, you will find a contact number too so it would be a good idea to give them a call and talk it through.
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support/local-branch-meetings
Best of luck
Thank you for your advice! I don't think she can say I forced her to make the false claims, as I was serving in Iraq when she submitted them! She will not face just one charge, as she was filling out tax returns every year! That's six separate charges!!!
I hadn't heard of families need fathers, so I will be getting in touch with them.
How long could it take before I see my son again?
Until you find out what she's playing at and what allegations she has made, if any, it's difficult to say how long it will take...I know it's tough but get the ball rolling straight away. Contact the mediator, children's services and FNF. Once you get moving on it you will feel less helpless and more in control.
This is a great forum with lots of advice, we will help you all we can to find your way back to your son.
The FNF helpline is manned 24/7 until midnight. 0300 0300 363
You will find the name of the meeting organiser in your area and their contact number in the link I have provided, they are mostly great people who will try and help you as much as they can.
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