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Hi Guys,
I'm taking my laptop with me incase i need to show evidence.
Do i need take spare USB and put video / pics in it for evidence if court haven't received on email.
Should i print out the PDF file (50 pages) of evidence and questions for mother as well ?
Please advice.
Thanks a lot
Hi Guys,
I'm taking my laptop with me incase i need to show evidence.
Do i need take spare USB and put video / pics in it for evidence if court haven't received on email.
Should i print out the PDF file (50 pages) of evidence and questions for mother as well ?
Please advice.
Thanks a lot
Relentlesslove has covered the most important things. But
I have had last week final hearing and facts finding, the most important is you have to write your questions now and give it to Judge and Judge asks your ex and some time the judge add his own question.
So be prepared now any questions in your mind write it down because it seems to me you self represent.
The judge gave less than an hour to go to room write a questions as quickly as possible and as much as possible.
Don't worry you will be fine on your own and relax.
Best of luck
@mkjo thanks for the reply.
I sent the 10 questions to judge before the hearing but my hearing is postponed because of Judge unavailability.
Do i need to prepare more questions ?
Please advise.
many thanks
Yes, you do need more questions as you can because this your chance.
I was told by Judge if I want more time to write a question . I said No because I knew it will take more time, is already been a year.
My ex was struggling to answer because of my questions and Judge's questions.
If you were told to send the questions then send it straight away.
At the end Judge told her I am going to speak on behalf MR myself, your allegations are not true.
By the way I did not have my hearing where I live it was somewhere else.
Next week the Judge will make his judgement.
I already send questions as per due date.. i will see if i have more questions.
as my hearing is postponed for 4 months now 🙁
me too i have to travel 120 miles from my house as she live that far .. i have to book room as well as its two day hearing.
Sorry to [censored] in Mkjo
Is the final hearing as intense as a fact finding hearing, is it the same sort of process of getting in the Dock and being quizzed or tried to be portrayed as a wrong un by the ex's barrister?
Hi Macmyers,
Mkjo is is giving good advice.
Regarding the final hearing: Each person's experience will be different. Depending on Ex, Ex's barrister and the judge. In my experience the Final Hearing was not at all like the Fact Finding. No Docks, no cross examination and overall a much more collaborative feel. Not so adversarial. This is the Judge trying to complete a Final Share-cared agreement (I assume) for your futures as separated parents with your child. That judge does not want to see you in that court again, so they try to do what is best.
Obviously, you and your ex don't agree on some things, hence the case. So the judge with try to decide what is best for the child from the evidence you both submit. In my Final case all my suggestions were child focussed eg. "I think this is best because of this benefit to my daughter". It worked and almost all my suggestions were ordered.
If their Barrister is more interested in making you look like a "wrongun" (I had this) don't rise to it and always bring it back to the child. Explain how what you are suggesting is best for your child.
Thank you (and mkjo) that has helped put my mind at ease a little bit.
you think it will be same in my case as she is trying to prove I'm a bad person in every sense....
Hi F4father, you and Macmyers are at different stages. Macmyers had done their fact finding and is onto the final hearing. They are very different types of hearings in my experience. In the fact finding the other side is almost certainly going to try to make you look bad. It is likely that from the perspective of your ex that is the point the hearing (mine was the same. Plus it keeps you separated from your child for longer; wastes time and money; and wears you down. It is an awful ploy in a lot of cases). However, for the perspective of the judge they just want to know if the allegations are true or not. So if your ex and her team go in too hard and over the top and you remain calm, honest, factual and pleasant they will look bad. See if you can get some friends and family to mock question you, see how you come across and perform.
Hi
From your question I assume that you are self representing. I had many court cases including a 3 day fact finding. I will talk about that hearing as that is what you are preparing for.
I note from another thread that your case is delayed until July. I am sorry to hear that. This happened to me twice. It rips your heart out, I know that. It is like doing six marathons getting to the line and they turn you around and say you need to complete the course again. I feel for you. Try to keep busy, try not to dwell on it (if you manage this tell me how 😉 ) do as much exercise as you can. Also consider therapy, this is traumatic and don’t play that down. You deserve to help yourself.
Onto the help….
I can tell you the process regarding stuff to take into the fact finding from my perspective. Although both sides in my case had solicitors, the process should be broadly the same. I hope this will help:
In no particular order and not an exhaustive list of what occurs and normally agreed at a DRH (directions hearing):
Parties will have been given a deadline from the court to share allegations to one another. If you don’t have this contact the Mother’s solicitor (you said on another thread that she has one). Then arrange a time to exchange. Stick to this.
Parties will have been given a deadline from the court to share RESPONSES to the allegations to one another. If you don’t have this contact the Mother’s solicitor (you said she has one). Then arrange a time to exchange. Stick to this.
Within in the above you must have all the evidence included. Pictures, txts, videos, statements reports. Etc. If you try to introduce new evidence or allegations with the fact finding you will almost certainly not be allowed. Although, there are grey areas, like anything. But don’t risk it. If you have it now, send it when agreed.
Parties will have been given a deadline from the court provide the “bundle” to the court. This is usually done by the applicant however if the respondent only has a solicitor they will likely do it. This a ring binder (or two) of all the background, the allegations, responses, evidence… the lot. All laid out well, organised and referenced. This is a big job and as such is labour intensive and expensive. Ask Mother’s solictors now if they are doing the bundle and again ask for conformation of submission deadlines for this. (You could be cheeky and ask “when” they are doing it).
The Scott schedule will also have a deadline for submission along with position statements. These could be the same as the bundle. But confirm. This shouldn’t have any new information in terms of evidence or allegations etc. It is a summary and schedule of the hearing. You take turns to fill in your part of this. Again work with Mother’s solictors to get timings for this.
In the hearing both sides need the bundle and the judge. I’d print this off as soon as possible and try to learn the bundle inside out. Especially the allegations and responses word for word.
All evidence should have been submitted already but I would take back ups in case. Eg. A laptop with the CCTV footage. Just in case of court equipment failure on the day (this is unlikely and may be overkill but you have waited this long).
Other:
Take a note pad and a pen.
Post-its
Take some good food for your breaks.
Maybe some headphones for a quick blast of your favorite music music to relax you or meditation app. On breaks of course
Get to the court early and try to relax in what will probably be quite an unfamiliar environment
Look into a Mckenzie Friend or something similar (sorry I don’t know much about this). It is difficult to listen to the judge, process that, make notes, respond, prepare, follow the day’s schedule etc. and it is obviously stressful too.
You can see that there needs to be co-operation with Mother’s solicitors. Be civil and polite to them. However, they do work solely for her, so just remember that and don’t allow yourself to be disadvantaged by them not sending you things etc.
The judges in my experience were good. They want the case to run smooth, no surprises, get to the facts and conclude in the allotted time. Hence the prior organisation.
I hope this is a good start. Open up those lines of communications to her solicitors and start to get yourself very well prepared.
Hi
Thanks for the brief reply..
yes thats correct my hearing is postponed till July 🙁
my case is ... court ask ex to file 5 allegations and ask me to reply I did. then when DRH hearing Judge ordered for fact finding hearing and ask me to provide list of question i want Judge to ask in cross examination which i already sent.
No where on orders court have asked me to submit any evidence ? so when I will submit ?
As per my uncle guidance I have submitted my bundle with evidence (which was not asked in any court order) and list of questions and offcourse I don't have submit these with Ex solicitors and I'm relying on these evidences.
yes I'm self representing.
which therapy you talking about ?? is it free ?
court didn't ask me any allegations I have against her.... I applied contact and court ask her top 5 allegations and i replied of course denied ALL thats it so what to share with her solicitors ?
Reponses already shared with her solicitors.
well in responses i didn't add evidences because it was not asked ( did i made a mistake) ?? what to do now ?
my question is if I submit my evidences (which was not asked from court) ex solicitors will bring a good excuse and good reasons.
Court ask her solicitors ONLY to submit bundle so I just submitted questions. Again no evidence (she dont have any) and i didn't submit as it was not asked.
Court didn't ask me any Scott schedule.
I don't think we can take McKenzie friend with me.
" so just remember that and don’t allow yourself to be disadvantaged by them not sending you things etc." what it mean ? as per advice from a solicitor i shouldn't send evidences which I'm relying what you say ?
Thanks for your advices.
Appreciated
Hi there,
OK so it seems like in your case there are only allegations from your ex at you (none from you about her).
You have responded which all seems proper process wise. Make sure you know the allegations and responses word for word. I had several instances where my ex's barrister casually said I said something which I had not. I pulled them up on it in a respectful way, we went through the written statements and they were corrected. This happened four times and these people are very smart experts so I think it could have been intentional.
You have submitted your questions to the judge. I suppose this is where the "evidence" I was referring to would be. Eg. Txt messages, email, CCTV a photo. to back up what you were saying... BUT only if there is evidence of this sort. Evidence is also your statement (response) and statements at court. I didn't mean to worry you that you need to have Txt messages, emails, CCTV a photos etc... But if you do have that, my advice would be to send that into the judge (where you sent your questions). The judges do not like things being introduced on the day and may not allow it.
I would still open up a formal dialogue with the ex's solicitors. Ask them if they have all they need and ask for submission deadlines. They are professional and if you ask them a direct question like this they will likely answer and then you have covered all bases.
Therapy: Talking therapies on NHS is free. If you can afford to pay for a therapist and feel you need it I would say it is money well spent. There are a few apps on meditation (it isn't cross legged humming stuff) that often have long free trials. I would try anything back when I was where you are and I was surprised how much that helped me. Or of course speak to your doctor if you need to they may prescribe something for this period in your life. Anyway, see how you go, a few options there.
Thanks for the brief reply. I don't need any therapies for now I'm good thanks.
I don't understand why you asking to have formal dialog with my Ex-solicitors ?? They will be in court to prove that I'm a bad person then how come I should have word with him.
My uncle solicitor said ex-solicitors shouldn't know that you are sending any evidence etc.
Well my hearing is end of this month. I will send hard print out copies of questions and evidences to court next week.
The only concern is I don't loose temper in court if her ex-solictor ask me about allegation or behave like I'm a culprit.
secondly i hope judge will not be a female.
from the start - initial hearing solicitor- female, second hearing judge female , caffcass officer female , third hearing district judge also female.
all these FEMALES didn't ask or listen to me anything ALL behaved with me like I'm a convicted criminal ...
anyway finger crossed
I'm positive.
let see.
Thanks again.
Hey there,
It is of course fine if you don't wish to contact your ex's solicitors and question them. Every case is different and it seems your case is working direct through the judge (or their people at least). Seems like you are on top of things which is great because a delay because of some admin error/missing is the worst.
The other side will obviously try to make you out as a culprit. That is what they are being paid to do. And tomorrow they'll do it to someone else, and the next day and so on. It is simply their job. Don't take it personally (easy to say right?). The Barrister my ex had overstepped the mark a few times. I did not react badly to it and it was mentioned in the judges judgement (both the barrister being OTT and my good reaction). Therefore, try to see any OTT attempt to make you out as culprit as an opportunity to shine and show you are above that.
Side note: I had 4 judges. 2 female, 2 male. All were good, 3 were excellent and the best was a female. Some of the best people in power I know or have worked with are female. Don't worry if the judge is male or female, honestly. If you did have a bad experience with a female judge, it's wasn't because they were female. Also note, that judges are very different from CAFCASS, in fact, in my experience most the population are thankfully different to CAFCASS.
Good Luck
Macmyers,
Thanks Relentlesslove, you have made good points.
The first day I was asking her a questions through Judge. I was so happy that the Judge was asking like a police interrogation and like I have said at the end Judge said exactly (I am going to speak on behalf MR myself these allegations are not true).
All day was about ex, we had about 20 minutes to finish first day and judge asked her solicitor to start his cross examined but her solicitor said I'll do it tomorrow.
What I felt all the time judge tried to help me out (I don't know just a feeling)
Next day her solicitor tried to show the court how bad I am. But he failed.
What I have said to him (you have absolutely no duty of any care of my child is all about financial gain so don't pretend otherwise)
Xe wants to see my daughter under supervision but I say not when I sent my statement I have said only hand over to avoid further false allegations.
Hopefully next week the judge wants me to see my daughter under supervision.
Guys
I'm really frustrated and helpless and in grief ..... the court has second time postponed my hearing and they haven't given me new date yet.
what are my rights ? can i write to BBC or prime minster or who ???
can anyone tell me what is the men respect in this country ???
it will be 3 years in November 2022 i haven't seen my son ...
please help .......
@f4father thats terrible. what was reason for postponing hearing? I would suggest to keep chasing up court. phone and email and ask for next available hearing date.
Absolute y awful! The courts are saturated (not helped by soooooo many false allegations which are not punished even when showed to be malicious) and underfunded and frankly the admin errors I experienced were unbelievable.
Stick with it though, you'll get there. Be relentless. On one delay I had I took the courts through their ombudsman process. It does take weeks because you need to give defined periods for them to respond. On the eve before I could take it to a high level they "sorted it out" magically and slotted me in so I "only" lost yet another 6 weeks with my child not another additional 6 months!
I don't remember the name and each region is probably different but have a google.
one solicitor told me you are representing yourself and you don't have any solicitor representation thats why court is not taking your case serious ....
another thing he said if you have solicitor he have talk to ex solicitor etc etc or atleast get interm court order...
is this ALL true ???????
please advice.....
i talk to court they said call in 2 weeks time to find out the next hearing date.. i called today and still there is no news of new court hearing ......
she said call next week to find out ...... 🙁
anyone can help please ???????
@f4father hi, thats very sad to hear. you could follow this complaints procedure but it looks very lengthy: https://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/hm-courts-and-tribunals-service/about/complaints-procedure
other option is keep ringing court regularly and ask for next available date. sometimes they cancel other hearings, so dates free up.
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