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Hello, Everyone,
It is good to be back. I last visited this site in 2013. And believe me, that year was a very dark year; as was the year before and the year after. In 2013 I was struggling to hold onto my sanity. I tried everything possible to keep control. Meditation, a shrink, deep breathing and hiding under the duvet to escape the real world. But there was no escape because I couldn't escape my thoughts. I was in [censored] and could see no way out.
Just 12 months earlier I was in heaven working in tropical paradise. Great salary, house, and car, stunning wife, holidays around the world and kids in international school. Then out of the blue, a tumour was found in my neck so the family returned to the UK to seek medical advice. Stage 4 inoperable cancer with a prognosis of just 12 months to live. I went through the harrowing and agonising chemo-radiotherapy trip to try to extend my survival time. I ended up a burnt skeleton feeding myself liquid through a tube in my stomach to keep me alive to the fact that I was dying. Then my mum died and I only had my wife and kids in the whole wide world. Next, my partner of 8 years explained that she no longer loved me because the cancer had made me so ugly and began having an affair. I was in shock and it hurt far worse than the .cancer. At that point, I really wanted to die.
Then she screamed," Hurry up and die," before abandoning me and the kids. That really was scary; fighting terminal cancer while taking care of my two sons aged 14 and 4 all alone. The 14-year-old is from a previous marriage and the 4-year-old is her son. Well, I fought for my kids and cut out all processed food and lived on a diet of just fruit and vegetables and am still here to tell the tale much to the surprise of everyone. We haven't seen his mother for almost 5 years now and never receive phone calls. I have done my best for the young boy who is 8 years old now; swimming lessons, beavers, and cubs, playgrounds, picnics, walks in the country etc. My elder boy has just started his second year at uni.
The housework, loneliness, and heartbreak were continuous.I was now on benefits just making ends meet. What a fall! The ex-has the house and everything I had worked for but I have my son. I even tried a few dating sites but no one was interested in The Ghoul from the Grave! I carried on living day to day and decided to write a book about the tragic journey.It is doing well and even has almost 250 pre-orders and it won't even be finished until January next year. I am still not clear of cancer and as a 61-year-old dad with an 8-year-old son not much chance of a job.
Anyway, one very attractive girl pre-ordered the book, contacted me and we started dating. I was once again in heaven. A stunning Italian girl was in love with me a dead ringer for Nosferatu!. I couldn't believe it. The relationship lasted a year and was magical but it just fizzled out but we are still good friends. It was not meant to be but it certainly helped in my recovery.
So, what next? Well, I didn't defeat terminal cancer to remain on benefits until the day I die so next summer me, my son and our rescue dog are relocating in some tropical land and I will work as an author and travel blogger for single dads.
So this message is to you all. However impossible your situation seems-NEVER GIVE IN. Fight for yourself and your children. However much it hurts and you scream alone under the blanket-NEVER GIVE IN. You never know what is around the next corner so fight for the future good times even when you believe with all your heart that you will never see them just like I did in the dark grim days. However, everything changes; nothing stays the same.
Love
Single Dad and Lad
My mother had breast cancer and beat it. She died a year later from a heart attack. I then had a silly disagreement with my elder children and fell out with them for 3 years. I have tried to fix things and we're getting there slowly, but I don't think things will ever be the same.
Struggling with depression, I split with my partner and she told horrendous lies about me and has now kept my children from me for nearly two years. I have a court date in just over a week. My blanket and I have also become good friends.
But nothing, absolutely nothing, will stop me fighting for my children. I will still be there for them for as long as I am physically or mentally able. Why should they be deprived of a father because they're mother is vindictive and greedy, which is what it all boils down to.
I second you! NEVER GIVE IN no matter how hard things get.
For those of us who are fighting for our children, the alternative is that they spend the rest of their lives without a father. No child deserves that.
Congratulations for getting though everything. You are incredibly strong, brave and an inspiration. Every day that we get through our nightmares is an achievement and we should pat ourselves on the back. Even if it's for just one more day.
So sorry about your mother. And good for you for keeping fighting. I had no choice but to be strong because my children had no one but me! And my ex-was inhumane. You wouldn't believe it. But now she is not around to hurt anymore but I still get nightmares regarding that time. And yes I still have my blanket and still feel lonely but like you, I get through just one more day
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