[Solved] Varying child arrangement order

Hey,
I'm a partner of a dad that has gone through the court system and happy to share our experience but remember all experiences are different.
Each time my partner went to court he actually ended up with less time in the interim with the view that he will gain more time in the future (looking at the bigger picture)
For example, my partner had an order that stated his child should spend time with him every other sat to sun with overnight and gradually build nights during school holidays with the view that he is to have 7 nights from her 5th birthday. Firstly the mother refused to extend the nights accordingly and manipulated the order where possible so we went for an enforcement but wanted to vary so reapplied for a variation. The child turned 5 so according to the old order my partner should have his child week on week off for school holidays. Well we finalised the variation in April just before Easter holidays they stated as of September he is to have every other Friday to Sunday night and half of school holidays but as of 2019 Easter no ordered time and as of 2019 summer only 2 weeks of the 6 weeks (which is actually less than the old arrangement). The funny thing is this application for variation was submitted march 2018 and he was ordered during a hearing 3 weeks (in 1 week blocks) during summer 2018 which is more than he got for summer 2019.
But as I said with the view as of September he gains pretty much what he had without the ex being able to manipulate the order + the Friday night.
So I think it is pretty hit and miss to be honest.

Have you already got half of school holidays in your future arrangement?
How far do you live from your ex/nursery/school?
Has your child started nursery?

I don't really see what you have to lose in the interim?
Personally I think it might be worth asking for extended night as of when your child starts nursery to gradually build the overnights to week on week off for when they start school?

Its also worth thinking if you want more than just a week when they start school.. my partner and I asked for summer holidays to be 1 week then 2 weeks to be able to take her on holiday with us for a decent amount of time.

It's all about timings I guess to show why you are going back to the court to request more time than granted.

🙂

Hi ldad,

I have one week in the summer only I wish I had asked for more at the time but the whole experience was quite daunting.

I live about 30 minutes from the nursery, he has been attending since he was 6 months old.

I would love to build up to week on week off if that would be possible, but know the ex will not have that.

I think it's going to have to go back to court just would hate to lose the time I have but I don't see any other option

hi jmax,

your order of saturday-sunday every other weekend is too restrictive. the norm is fri-sun. for months i saw my kids every saturday. after court it changed to fri-sun every other weekend. mainly because i need more time to spend with kids. i spent whole day at chessington with them yesterday. only possible due to fri-sun arrangement.

you need more time. Your order is over a year old, so would be good time to vary it and asked for increased time.

make your order future-proof. add holidays abroad in there, passports to be handed over in time for holidays. this order is meant to be valid until child reaches 17/18 years age.

I definitely agree with the above..

I would say that it is in the child's interest to have more time with you and the reason we asked for Friday night is because sat to sun is too restrictive as said above. By the time we collected his daughter and got back home the morning had disappeared.

The only thing I would raise is that you have fri- Monday in the future with midweek but with the distance that may be changed to fri- sunday and debatable for midweek I guess that is more dependant on your flexibility with work and getting to the school/nursery etc - this is something you must be aware and to be prepared for. If so, reconsider the time on Sunday evening.

You have your 1 week block this summer and I doubt you will have a hearing prior to summer so it would be worth seeing how that contact goes and if all is positive it's more of an argument for you to go into the courts with and ask for more time during all school holidays. (Xmas, Easter and summer)

Absolutely agree with adding holidays abroad and that's why I said consider asking for 2 week block during summer even if it is only granted when child turns x years old it is worth having it in the order for the future.

And again the reason we got ours varied was to make sure we don't need to go back to court in the future!

I know it's a daunting feeling but it is worth it in the end - even when you feel like you've missed out in the interim because it is about the bigger picture !

Good luck