Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Me and my partner are now splitting up this week after she hit me, and then is putting the blame on me for it or denying it happened depending on what arguments she is pushing at the time. She is trying to provoke me into a reaction but I know I’m stuffed if I do…..and ate strong willed enough to take anything for the sake of my daughter. She is now using my daughter as a pawn - someone who I totally worship and who responds likewise as she is a real daddy’s girl (which infuriates her mum). She is trying to take my daughter away…..stop me seeing her or having any contact with. She is already telling her daddy is going and won’t be seeing her again…..which is upsetting her. What can I do??? Please I need advice urgently
hi,
so at the moment you are still living together? will you be leaving the house or is she going to leave with child?
@bill337 we are in the same house when I left for work this morning, but not sure when I get home. It’s my house and she is saying she is going to find her own place. What is stressing me out is that she will move out….take my daughter with her…..and I won’t see her for a period of time…..probably not until she comes after maintenance money….which I have no issue paying…..all that matters to me is talking to and spending time with my daughter
Hi I have sent you a private message, can you please check it as soon as possible?
@stephenm hi, never mind, seems like your name change has taken place. with your situation, do you know if your ex would be interested in writing up a parenting plan together? one can be used from here: https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parents-and-carers/divorce-and-separation/parenting-together/parenting-plan/
also with children arrangements you could both attend mediation and try to settle all the issues there. you could book an appointment with a family mediator, and they can decide to invite her. You could ask her first if she would like to attend mediation. as a last resort, you could think about taking legal route through family courts.
@bill337 I’m going to look in to this over the next few days when I’m not at work and able to be out of her sight. I working out in my head what I think is fair access to my daughter , financial arrangements etc……because this will give me basis’ off what will happen going forward
Your ex is obviously having some mental issues. I'm afraid for your daughter's mental health as well if this continues. 😑
@jaffhiii I am really worried for her too. We have such a close bond and it scares me that she will break that bond like she has done with her other children and their dads
I’m very sorry that you find yourself in this situation. As you have suffered domestic abuse you could seek support from Mankind or look for local domestic abuse support agencies in your area. You don’t say how old your daughter is but if she attends nursery or school you can speak to the appropriate person there and make them aware of the situation. You can also make a referral to social services as it seems your daughter is subject to psychological abuse and parental alienation
@champagne daughter is three. Will look at what help is available in the local area, but feel so alone and isolated at the moment. I just don’t know where to turn, and I simply can’t escape to speak to anyone, as she is on my case continually or I’m at work. I really do fear coming home one day and finding she and the kids have gone…..and she won’t tell me where they are. Her, her sister and her other daughters can then work on my daughter to poison her mind, while I track them down. At that point I will get the police and social services involved as I’m sure that must be illegal…..well if something happened to her, I’m pretty much certain I would be held responsible by the police and social services! So it must work both ways.
are you on your daughters birth certificate as that will give you more rights immediately. You could call 101 to speak to someone from the police or call Mankind in a lunch break perhaps. Hang on in there
@champagne yes my name is on the birth certificate and she has my surname rather than her mothers. I am thinking I must have rights as if anything was to happen to her they would be quickly on my case for not being a fit and proper parent…..so it must work both ways
I would work out what you think is fair, and then go for more than that, with the hope that you end up with what you wanted in the first place.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.