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Hi all,
Thought I'd' post whist feeling positive for a change!
You might recall that my marriage imploded in 4 days in July after my wife contacted her childhood sweetheart on the dreaded FB! She slept with him 2 days later and when confronted left and blamed me for everything.
Over the last 2 weeks she introduced my youngest to her new man and hijacked my eldest (who wants nothing to do with her) in a shop causing him great distress.
This weekend's treat was a text to tell me her chap is moving in with her.
And guess what?In spite of me considering this the next big thing to deal with I feel fairly OK!
It is amazing how unpredictable my feelings are, I have been devastated by short friendly chats yet cope with big news like this quite well.
My focus on the boys helps to keep me sane (they are ace!) And my support network gives me time to assess responses to my ex before replying. I find minimal contact helps (avoiding the temptation to be friendly is especially important except in the presence of youngest) as does routine and keeping busy.
I still think she is nuts and feel very sad about the demise of a marriage that I believe had a future, but I recognize that I have no control over her actions and that rational argument doesn't help in these situations. I've done some things over the last 9 weeks that I'm not proud of and would change if I could (emotional in front of kids etc) but have mostly kept my dignity intact. I have not stalked, followed, phoned, snooped, slagged off, confronted, hurt or caused problems seeing the kids (all things that I can't help but feel would be occurring if the roles were reversed).
I will keep on loving my boys and doing the best I can.
More soon x
Hi,
Thanks for the up-date,
I can partly understand how your feeling and it not bothering you as much as you would have thought, I would imagine that this may have given a small amount of closure to her leaving as now she is going to be living with this guy, it is clear there will be no return, sometimes the strangest things can help you to move forward and feel more positive.
It sounds as though you are handling things well and have a great amount of support which is always a plus.
Hopefully things will continue as they are, but please stick around on the site and pass on advice to others going through similar.
Thanks again for the up-date.
GTTS
It's impressive that you have been able to remain so positive with all that's going on - that's really going to help your sons handle it as well, and will help you to move on. Thanks for keeping us updated, and I'm sure, in the long run, it will come out well for you.
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