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To all fathers here in similar situations I thought i would share some advice from my own experiences so far.
If your ex is becoming or is difficult to deal with and starts causing you problems, being abusive etc... then protect yourself by the following....
• Keep a log of all calls, if they become abusive tell them to put it in writing and hang up, if they continue contact the police about harassing phone calls – don’t let the police fob you off! Get it recorded to protect yourself.
• Keep a copy of all texts, emails, letters from and to your ex. I actually managed to get a copy of all mine from my provider (O2) from 2008 up to Dec 2010 after that I took screen shots of every message since then and saved them. I showed the Judge 138 A4 pages of texts that I could prove were not harassing or abusive as she had tried to allege. (2 texts screen shots per page)
• Get any proof from authorities if you have had any involved. - police, SS, etc...
• Keep a journal, with any events, confrontations, threats, emotional blackmail etc… keep all these for you to be able to refer back to....the sooner you make thes notes after the event the fresher your memory.
• Above all else make sure what you say is the truth and you can back it up. Don’t lie or try to deceive because you will be found out…..my ex made that mistake!
I have been truthful and honest all the way throughout my fight for contact and that has been my only defence against a nasty evil hateful ex. if you tell the truth you don't have to rely on trying to remember what you last said or did....you'll just remember.
it may seem like an uphill battle but oneday the truth will be seen and karma will turn up on their doorstep!
Thank you for sharing and that is excellent advice.
Anyone reading this, please take note......dad-i-d has really been through the mill with courts and contact and is spot on with this advice
Just to add to that, with regards to getting information from social services, etc - you have rights under the freedom of information act to request any documents from these people. If there is information about you or your children held anywhere on file, whether it's with the school or the local council, you have a right to see it by law. You will probably need to complete a subject access request to get the information, and what you receive may be redacted - they have to remove any information relating to third parties. There are also some exemptions and they won't have to provide information, I believe if a third party is thought to be at risk. The information commissioners office can help if you have any questions.
If you wish to claim legal aid based on reasons of domestic violence, you have to have acted upon any abuse. In other words, you not only have to report it to the police but you have to press charges.
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