[Solved] Taking my Son on holiday - Mother saying no

Hi there

Just a couple of questions....how old is your son and how long has the court order been in place?

If it's been longer than 6 months you can apply for a variation of the existing order, however mediation must be attempted first, to see if you can reach agreement between yourselves. If mediation fails, the mediator would sign off the form to enable you to apply to court.

I would suggest that if this happens that you ask for extra time in the summer to take your son on holiday, I would also ask for alternate Christmas and birthdays. If your child is school age I would advise you ask for 50/50 share of all school holidays.

I also think it would be appropriate to ask for both of your alternate weekends to be for a full weekend and to ask for a weekly midweek visit too, as long as your work commitments allow.

You could try writing to her solicitor, although I doubt she is still instructing them now that your case is over. You could write to her formally and request that further contact be discussed and agreed as it would be in your sons best interests to spend quality time with you for holidays, reminding her that some progression was an expectation of the court and if she refuses, you will have no choice but to instigate mediation and failing that an application to court for further definition of contact, at which point you will be asking for a full weekend every fortnight plus a weekly midweek visit, alternate Christmas and birthdays and a share of all holidays.

All the best

Firstly, many thanks for the reply!

My son is just turning 3, the court order was in place from April 2016. As I have to do all the driving I have weekend 1 of the month spending the day with him, then the third weekend of the month I pickup Friday and return him Sunday.

I live a 6 hour round trip away from my son so the mid week visit would not really be an option.

I may try her solicitor initially and if no joy then maybe put something in writing to her regarding potentially looking at having even more access and plans for holiday/Xmas. The court initially just told us to agree this ourselves.

Also, not that I think this is a move I will chose to make, however. Hypothetically speaking, if I were to pick my son up as usual and then inform his mother I will not be returning him for an extra 2 days, is this something I have any remit to do? I do have my name on the birth certificate and parental responsibility. Or, if I were to inform her he was unwell to travel back, could this have potential bad reprocussions for our contact order? (All hypothetically speaking of course).

Thanks once more for any help/ideas,

I see, you could ask for some indirect contact midweek, such as Skype, FaceTime or telephone contact.

Hypothetically, I wouldn't advise keeping hold of him... Legally you wouldn't be breaking the law as you have PR, but if she were to stop contact afterwards and take it back to court, they wouldn't look favourably on this kind of action.

If your child was ever too ill to make the journey back, I feel it would be reasonable to keep him until he was able to travel....of course you would need to liaise with the mother and she may well insist that she travel to you to be with him out of concern....which would be natural as he is still quite young.

Many thanks for the advice, hugely appreciated.

I guess I kind of knew the answers, I just don't like them or think they are at all fair, but you have given me some great options, particularly around contacting her re potential of going back to court and asking for more than we currently have.

Thanks once more

...once your child starts school, because of the distance between you, that could warrant you getting a substantial block of the school holidays to compensate for the loss of time due to travel restraints during term time.

Your little boy is still quite young, some mothers do get anxious, but once he starts school things may become easier....here's hoping!