[Solved] Struggling with Breakup w/Child involved

Hi there

I’m sorry you are struggling, break ups are tough, especially when there’s a child involved... it’s positive that you are working with the mother to transition your child and are getting to see your son frequently, even though you’re finding that hard.

It’s often a bad idea to check out exs social media accounts, as you’ve found to your cost, there’s rarely anything that makes good reading, but perhaps after the dust has settled, it might help you realise that ending it was the right move.

At the moment your feelings are raw and you feel let down, but that will pass and things will return to normality. Try and keep busy, make sure you’re getting enough sleep and eating regularly, it’s important to keep your strength up... most importantly be kind to yourself.

If you have a family member or close friend to confide in, it will help to have someone to talk to, but don’t be afraid to go and talk to your GP if you find you can’t cope.

Have you got somewhere to stay? If that’s difficult for you, you could contact your local council to see if there are any housing associations.

If you would like to talk to others in a similar situation you could think about attending a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area. Here’s a link to their website, where you’ll find a list of meetings nationally, hopefully you’ll find one near you.

www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings

All the best and keep talking.

Definitely stay away from her social media, and I'd also block her from yours - it's too easy to say something on there that you will regret later (or for her to say something that you'd rather not see) and it's too late to undo it once it's done.

Hi again,

I really appreciate the in-depth replys, it was a very helpful when i read them. I was abit disappointed with myself yesterday, as today has been the 8th day since the break, i normally hit the 7th say ( yesterday ) and the “ Missing “ stage creeps up on me, and it did, and got the better of me. Hence the social media stalk when at the time when terribly wrong, this morning i received a very long text from the Ex, claiming she now realises how stupid she was being talking to others, as i never helped and shes now over it. Wouldnt trust her as far as i can throw her, but that text has motivated me today. I seem to have 1 good day, followed by a bad. No doubt my bad day will creep up on me tomorrow, but, i have plans tomorrow after i drop my son back to his mum.

100% will not be creeping on her Facebook again, even if she did say she will be deleting them all etc, the damage in my head is already done, the fact she thought it was NORMAL, to do that after a max of 7 days. I couldnt think of anything worse at the moment.

It is what it is, and tomorrow’s another day. When it approaches, i will deal with the next stepping stone.

I had already blocked her on facebook the day of the break up because i didnt want her or her Mum stalking on my social media, but we still have connected friends etc. It will now only motivate me to keep strong and not end up bowing down to her ways, if she wants to act like that, she is only making a fool of one person, and thats herself.

It’s good to see you feeling more positive and stronger... as I said, be kind to yourself, you had a bad day yesterday, checking out her social media was a mistake, but nothing that many others haven’t done when they’re at a low point... it’s not a big deal, so try not to feel too disappointed in yourself.

The good days will happen more and more, try not to expect a bad day... instead tell yourself that you’re going to have a better day. Making plans is a good idea, keep yourself busy, keep moving forward.

Going on her FB has given you some insight, and it seems to me that you’re using that in a positive way to motivate yourself to get to a better place and move on with your life.

You have the right attitude, to deal with things as they happen, don’t think too far ahead, or worry about things that haven’t happened yet. Get through each day and before long you’ll be back on track.

Best of luck

You can set certain settings on FB to friends only - that might limit the connections.