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Hi, I just need to let off some steam and hopefully hear some reassuring words as my head is done in at the moment with my daughters mother.
My daughter is 10, i went to court a few years ago for more time with my daughter which was every other weekend, one day during the other week, holidays etc. This was when I was working mon-fri, now I work 4 on 4 off.
Things have been quite smooth for the last year or 2, i normally have her for a night on my 4 off, once in a blue moon it will be a couple of nights.
her Mum is always the one in control though, she tell me when I can have her, no discussion, just when she can fit me in. She has been in control for the last 10 years and im really struggling today. I tried to organise christmas at the start of january, but she had already made plans to visit her husbands parents in London without even telling me.
last night when trying to sort out when I would have her next, she told me I could have her next sunday, I asked if I could have her the monday aswell as I wont have seen her for a week and it will be another week again after sunday. Shes gone mad saying how im "so [censored] cheeky" they try to "accomodate me". How she always works around my rota, which is bullshit. Shes going on saying that I have nothing in my life which is why I dote on my daughter. I dote on my daughter because I love her and shes my daughter!!
She called me all sorts of names in texts, says im a wierdo, im tapped. Im interupting their happy family life by trying to see my daughter. really makes me understand why some dads walk away. I have had enough. I never call her names in texts, I wouldnt do that as its my daughters mother. I have told her that ive politely asked her to stop texting me with issues regarding things other than our daughter and if she continues to do so I shall be forced to report her to the police
Sorry to hear that. Have you considered attempting mediation to discuss this or going back to court? Is there an order in place which specifies the contact at all?
Keep doing what you are doing, do not raise to any name calling, just think about your son and nothing else. If she gets you all caught up in her name calling, she will probably try and use it against you. It is frustrating that they have this power over us, but she needs to know you are doing all you can for the benefit of your child
I wouldn't call police as they will do absolutely nothing. Also will anger your ex. you need to sit down and look at your new rota and work out when you can have your daughter consistently every month. remember a court did order contact during week and every other weekend . remember u also have holidays from your work which I assume u would use xmas/easter or summer. remember u probably got half the holidays. once u know when u can have them u need to message ex to discuss maybe via email what you propose. if she refuses then mediation followed by a court application ..maybe a specific issues order on c 100 as your circumstances have changed.. she isn't helping or doing you favours its about your availability to see your 10 year old child and not hers. there is no reason why a court wouldn't grant what you ask for based on your rota. if u pm me rota or write it on here what your work hours are monthly I could perhaps suggest what u could ask for . also whats important is that you and your daughter continue to have a good bond she is coming up to an age now where she has a say and where she can soon in few years arrange contact herself with you
hi,
its up to you. if your ex is control freak and not willing to accomodate your work rota, then you can go back to court if you have the time and money for it. will be about £300 for application inc.mediation, and you can represent yourself.
my order has every other weekend, and few hours of mid week contact every other weekend. i have a very strong bond with my kids and i feel this arrangement is too minimal and affecting them as they keep begging for more time with dad. ex causing trouble, so back to court.
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