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So, I am father to a lovely 8 month old boy. My wife and I are very happy, but I have not been enjoying my work recently. We realised (hopefully!) that we can just about afford for me to give up work when she returns at the start of April. (We are both teachers, but she earns more than me and she LOVES her work).
I spend quite a bit of time looking up things about parenting, and really try to be involved fully, but trying to find anything aimed at dads is very difficult. I have come across a couple of twitter feeds, this site, and another site which is quite new, but that's it.
I'm also anxious about the lack of equality in certain situations - I was stood in the queue at the baby changing room (waiting for it to empty - just me and baby) in Ikea, and a woman walked past, looked at our son, and spoke to the woman behind me, asking how old he was. I think she was more embarrassed than me! But it goes to show - very few people think men do the jobs that women always/traditionally do for babies. I regularly go to town with him by ourselves. The main public baby changing facilities are under a sign saying 'ladies toilets'. A bit weird to have to walk under there! I recently read a book - Men Can Do It! The real reason dads don't do childcare (By Gideon Burrows) - a great read - for mums and dads! And a lot of things rang true. I'd be interested in speaking to other men and women who feel the same way!
Also, trying to find other dads online is very difficult - when i become the main carer and my wife returns to work, i think i'm going to need some other men to speak to and have a coffee with! But finding them is hard. I tried looking for groups/facebook/etc - i found some in the US but not in UK. Us blokes just apparently don't want to be all sociable?! So that's another thing - I'd like to try creating (a) group(s) to socialise (online or in person!).
OK - think that summarises most of my thoughts for now.
I look forward to hearing from anyone else who has similar thoughts, or would just like to rant/discuss/celebrate being dads!
All the best folks,
Laurence
(Colchester, UK).
Hi Laurence and welcome to the Forum π
I think it's great that you and your wife can be honest and agree on a solution that is right for you both!
Times are changing and as more men become stay at home fathers and take on the role of child are full time, so society will begin to adapt to it!
I think starting a group is a great idea....I'm sure there are other Dads that are in your position ...go for it!
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