Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi Folks i have a question here . i married to a woman nearly four years ago we stayed a total of one year together and then separated since last two years . during the course of marriage i had full time job then had my own small business which couldn't work out and company went into loss and finally liquidated and all that i saved was lost in business.
while i was married i supported all the house hold expenditures alone by myself while she only stayed at home . probably it was my financial loss that she left me . she never pursue a career or had any job before or during marriage .
we have two small kids who live with the mum.i am already paying child maintenance.
since our separation i have no proper source of income and have a very low income which even do not cover my own expenditures .
i waited two whole years after separation that things may change or if she apply for divorce herself .
i want to know that if i divorce her will i have to pay her spousal maintenance even though it is a short marriage ?
Does the time as separated also count toward the length of marriage at the pont of divorce proceeding ?
in case if either her or me do not start divorce proceeding for another 2 or 3 years will it be classed as long marriage of 5 years or more which can entitle her for Spousal maintenance ? as i came to know that chances of spousal maintenance order are more if the marriage is beyond 5 years ?.
Thanks
Hi mate
I'm no lawyer, however, my advice simply is go for a clean break dude, for the benefit of your children and your good self. In my experience, you do not need a potential extra complication in the relationship with the mother, in truth due the shortness of marriage the mediator (you will have to see one before any court proceedings start) would probably guide against spousal and courts prefer clean break.
Good luck
It's usual in short marriages that both you and your ex would walk away with what you brought into the marriage. How are you paying her child support? If it is not through the CMS agency then I suggest you pay a £20 fee and get the arrangement formalised via CMS. Otherwise, the issue you could have is that the ex could claim the monthly money paid to her was spousal maintenance as she has not been working and thereby, you have ended up setting a precedent which would be difficult to reverse.
Things like spousal maintenance are not as straightforward as some ex's seem to think; the court works on a needs basis rather than what someone wants. It also takes into account earning capacity and lenght of marriage; is your ex not working so that she can stay at home and look after the children? One thing to bear in mind is that once your children are in full time education then the courts would expect your ex to seek employment.
thanks for your response .
Ok i should go for clean break but as i donot own any property or assets or any savings in bank so what can i offer her for clean break ,why would she agree for a clean break without any offer . can court still process clean break if there is nothing lum sum to offer?
secondly can court order for Spousal maintenance on what ever my current income is or against any expected future earning as CMS is asking for 16% of gross income ?????
even CMS asked me to pay Child maintenance calculating my previous income which was 3 Years ago because the inland revenue did not have any of my income details for the last 3 years .
please explain in details
Thanks
I would never go for a clean break with respect to child maintenance - this usually involves paying some sort of lump sum instead of future child maintenance, but in reality, after 12 months, the parent with care can go to CMS for monthly maintenance, so the non resident parent ends up paying twice. Once CMS is set up, or being set up, the courts usually leave this as it is.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.