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So I need some advice guys before I spend 1000s on solicitors
I’ve recently left my wife of 8 years we have a 3 year old and a 6 year old we have a house that’s valued @ 600k with a 190k mortgage I earn 45k a year she hasn’t worked since having the eldest but has a career she can earn similar money to me.
I walked out it was a failing relationship and I couldn’t take her anymore, at first she didn’t let me see the kids I carried on paying the mortgage and all the bills. She then allowed me 3 hours a week on a thursday eve and recently another 3 hours on a Sunday but the Thursday is the only regular day.
She keeps hustling me to go to mediation but she says I need to pay her half which I’m apposed to I’m happy to go but don’t see why I should pay her costs
She wants me to sign a order with a solicitor agreeing to pay £1800 a month to keep her and the children in the family home for the next 15 years.
She recently got the csa involved and I’m awaiting how much they want me to pay but have advised me to stop paying the household bills and take them out of my name.
I can’t hsve the children overbite or back at mine as the place I’m staying is having building work done and not suitable for children.
She wants the mediation to sort out finances and child access but I don’t actually see the point as she’s offering such limited access to the children in return for large sums of money
Can anybody give me any useful advice in this horrible mess ??
Hi There,
CMS/CSA is normally the easiest way to resolve child maintenance if you aren't able to agree on what should be paid, as they will just set an amount and you pay it.
You would need to attend mediation to begin with before you have any other options, if mediation doesn't work and you can't agree then you can apply to the family courts for an arrangement order for child contact. You don't need to spend out on solicitors as you can represent yourself and the courts are used to this happening these days.
The finances will be down to the divorce though and that could be much harder to resolve and could cost as although you can represent yourself it is a bit of a mind field and if she has a solicitor you could loose out in the long run.
By the sounds of things there is enough equity in the family home for you to both to take a good amount and enough for you to both buy another home. There would be a strong chance that if a judge made a rulling that the split could be 60/40 or 70/30% in her favour as she has the children living with her.
GTTS
I agree with GTTS - get CMS involved for child maintenance, you are better having it done that way so that is then sorted when it comes to the rest of the divorce settlement. With the amounts involved, you definitely want to get a solicitor involved, but you should also be prepared to make some compromises to keep the legal costs down to a reasonable level, otherwise any gain you make on the settlement could easily be swallowed up in legal fees, which doesn't help anyone.
The courts will normally expect the parent with care to work once a child reaches school age and so frees up the PWC's time, so I certainly wouldn't be agreeing to spousal maintenance for years to come, certainly not without professional legal advice.
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