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Hi there, been lurking for a bit looking for advice and found some great bits and pieces. I'm dad to a 2 year old terror of a boy who is the world to me. I'm also about to finally leave my wife taking him with me as she has a recurring alcohol problem, in fact as I type this she is 'asleep' in my step son's (8) bed having snuck out at 7 to top up on a couple of cans (an improvement from bottles of vodka or gin!).
I've now finally after 6 years together and 4 years of marriage decided that I can't continue with the roller coaster ride that is her alcohol problem and the effect it's having on me and the kids. My stepson has been taken by his natural father and is currently not allowed to see my wife, although I can still see him but it has to be away from my home as she won't leave so no overnight stays.
I don't blame her for the drinking, she lost her step daughter suddenly in early 2010 and although she was a drinker before has since spiralled out of control with 4-6 week periods of drinking sandwiched between periods of sobriety.
Now the real question, what do I do today with my boy!
Hi there
It must have been very difficult for you to try and keep things normal for your son, living with someone with a drink problem can be devastating, especially when you must watch your loved one destroy themselves.
Often, unless the drinker wants to be helped, there is little other family members can do. Have any outside agencies been involved, GP, hospital or Social Services? Is there any record of your wifes problem, or was the decision to take the stepson and refuse her contact a decision made privately? If she decides to dispute custody it would be helpful for there to be record of her drinking problems, and the fact that she has already had one child removed for their own safety.... This is the harsh reality I'm afraid.
As long as you have somewhere to go with your son I don't see any reason not to take the next step, you are after all protecting him and trying to assure his well being. Once you have left I think you should contact your sons GP and Health Visitor and let them know the situation, it might also be advisable to contact Social services and bring them up to date with the situation.
Good luck with everything.
There's records with three GPS (she keeps changing) two ambulance visits and we had a social worker involved after the last big blow out (end of the summer holidays) who unfortunately closed the case after she saw that I was able to protect little one and my wife sobered up. Plus she is in the second year of a 3 year drink driving ban (although her suspended sentence is served now).
We were in the process of moving and the house has sold with all documents signed but we haven't completed yet - due to bad debt on here part I am buying the next property I my sole name I'm hanging inn there in our current house purely for the sake of keeping little ones routine and that I need to get the house packed to move in a couple of weeks!
Have you ever been to an Al-Anon meeting? Might be worth going along - they are for people affected by Alcoholics, and usually run alongside Alcoholics Anonymous meetings - they can be very enlightening as you recognise behaviour in your alcoholic partner that won't have registered before, and in your own, including (as you have done) rationalising the reason for your wife drinking.
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