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Hi everyone . Just looking for advice . My son is 10 and me and his mother separated when he was 2.5 years old . I have had him every other weekend pretty much all his life and always paid Csa . He has asked if he can live with me but his mother will not allow this to happen . She simply says no . And it's not about what he wants but only how she would feel .
He has felt like this for a while . And I have told him he really need to make sure that's what he wants . And he is sure .
His mother and her sister have made him feel terrible bombarding him making him feel bad because his mum is upset . He shares a room with a 14 yr old and a 6 year old . The also has a 19 yr old brother who punches him a lot . At mine he would have his own room . Own space and able to be himself . What rights do I have ? How can I make this happen ? I have even asked for part custody and again it's a no .
Hi Nick and welcome to the forum
Are you named on the birth certificate?
If he is being physically abused by his brother, who at 19 is an adult, and there are bruises etc you could report this to the police and Children Services. At the very least, next time he is with you could give the police a call and ask them to come and have a chat with your son about this.
If you are on the birth certificate and your child is being mistreated and subjected to violence from his brother, you are in a position to keep him with you and apply to the court for an urgent Child Arrangements Order to have him reside with you and a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent the mother from taking him back.
If you didn't feel that you wanted to take such drastic action, you can try to get something sorted out through mediation, which is the required first step in non urgent situations. Here's a link to the mediation service
www.nfm.org.uk
If mediation fails the mediator will sign off the form to enable you to apply for a Child Arrangements Order to have him reside with you. There are lots of stickys at the top of the legal eagle section that explain the process and if you decide to go ahead we will do all we can to advise and support you.
If you go to court CAFCASS will be involved and at some point would be able to talk to your son to find ourt his wishes and feelings. At 10yrs old he will be listened to and his wishes taken account of. The fact that he lives in overcrowded conditions and is being subjected to violence should help your case.
Best of luck
Hi There,
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I Think that although valid complaint, if you were to make a case with childrens services about his Brother hitting him, there would be a strong chance that this would be brushed under the carpet, the chances are his mother and brother would close ranks and claim rough play, they would probably be warned but quite possibly that would be as much as they would do.
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I think if you tried mediation first and then applied to court if that didn't work you would stand a stronger chance of having your son live with you, in your application to court, you could bring up the living conditions and his brother hitting him and also your sons wishes.
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This is just my view, I'm not trying to put you off just giving a possible out come if you made a complaint to Child Services, I know my step son and I play rough a lot, and he does get bruises, we do hit each other and play fight, he enjoys the interaction and often I have to tell him to stop as it's getting to physical, and I fear that a claim of play fighting would be made.
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GTTS
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