Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Okay so i separated from sons mother. And i have my son 3-4 nights a week. The problem is that my partner of 2.5 yrs now still dont get along with my son. She is finding it hard because she sees a lot of the ex wife in him, even tho that everyone else sees me in him. I love and want a future with my partner. But can there be if son and her dont get along?
Good morning,This is such a difficult one 3-4 nights a week is a dream amount of time to spend with your child after separation are you sure deep down your girlfriend doesn't just want more alone time with you
Now I have my son every other weekend instead of every week it's much easier for me to keep a new woman happy
We do have date nights and time to our self . And she has been great till the last few months really.
Hi there
I’ve got to say that I find her reason for not getting on with your child worrying and quite shallow. To be honest, she’s had 2.5 years to get used to the idea of a little person being in the mix.
You and your son come as a package and if the situation has got worse in the last few months, I can’t see it getting better by itself. If you want a long term relationship with her then I think you need to try and do something about it sooner rather than later.
Perhaps as has been said, she wants more of your time, but that would be to the detriment of your child and my opinion is that he should take priority... cutting time you spend together would be wrong and would sent the wrong message, to him and to your partner.
If another child comes along, she is likely to expect that child to take priority over your son, and as your son gets older he will become more aware of the tensions.
You might like to try couples counselling, but remember this is her issue, you and your son are not at fault here, she is the one that needs to change.
Here’s a link to Relate, they can offer family based services that could help her to get some much needed insight.
www.relate.org.uk
Best of luck
I'm inclined to agree with what Mojo has said to you and that you need to address this sooner rather than later. It's good you're aware of it and want to resolve it though.
Having two children who have dealt with a difficult step parent over the years, I know how big an impact this can have on children.
Wishing you the best of luck.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.