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A long one - I've been separated from kids' mother for over 3 years. In the separation agreement it was written up that I'd have the 2 kids every 2nd weekend and every Monday tea. After a few years, I wanted more time with kids and verbally agreed with ex I would take kids for a sleepover every Wednesday. This has been in place for 2 years. All a sudden she has taken Wednesday from me and wants to revert back to Monday, with no reason to justify it. Note I have also changed my work shifts to accommodate school pick-up and drop-off for the wednesday into thursday. She does not drive therefore I do all pick-ups and collections, I told her if she wanted to go back to Monday tea time, she needed to make arrangements to pick up the kids. I received a letter almost 72 hours later from her solicitor to say I had to do all pick ups and drop-offs in my time with them. I instructed my solicitor to reply to change the written agreement to state it will be every Wednesday. This was 6 weeks ago and my solicitor still has not heard from her solicitor, my solicitor has also sent a chaser. Considering her solicitor was quick to instruct me to do drop off and pick ups but now won't reply to a change of agreement. Does anyone know why this would be? and what are my next steps with this? My solicitor did say to me the kids are of age to make up their own decision on where they want to be. But just not sure why I have not heard back or is this another game she is playing?
hi,
it could be that your ex did not give any more instructions to her solicitor, so they have gone silent. how old are the kids?
i think it would be better if you continue picking and dropping kids. are you planning on using solicitors like this in long term? going to be very expensive.
thank you for replying - the kids are 10 and 11.
you’re right bud, my solicitor has said the same it is a waste of money. I went to my solicitor because she is refusing to allow me the extra night with them. The last Wednesday i had them as she did not say I couldn’t. She turned up and took the kids away and threatened that if I didn’t give them over I would never see them again. She’s got no reason for me to not have them on the Wednesday and to go back to an agreement made up 3 years ago. I’ve also been over paying by having them the extra night out of the agreement so not sure if she’s clocked into this.
I had asked the kids if they want to stick to what they’ve been doing the last 2 years, that being every second weekend and every Wednesday and both said yes but not sure where I stand with this legally if I just go with this?
Appreciate any advice anyone has.
seems like it got to point where you need a court order, to have stable arrangements for kids, because your agreement is not working? theres good arrangements you can seek through courts. every 2nd weekend, half of school holidays. you can do mid week overnights, if your local enough to do school runs. take kids on holidays abroad? due to kids ages, their views will carry some weight and court will likely act on them. if you need further advice, feel free to send me private message.
Your ex may only have paid for one letter so the solicitor won't want to incur costs. Is there any chance of mediation to deal with this? It will be much cheaper and quicker than going down the court route. You can find a local mediator through the Family Mediation Council. You will need to try mediation before court unless there is domestic abuse involved. It may also be worth chatting to Dads Unlimited: dadsunltd.org.uk. They could guide you through the process if you decide on the court route. There are also helpful guides on the advicenow.org.uk website.
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