[Solved] single dad, possibility of losing family home where

Hi, im new to this forum and a bit of a technophobe, so i'm not sure if i'm doing this right, but i'm desperate

Will try to keep it short n sweet

Married for 20 years, 3 kids who are now 16, 19 and 21 (the 2 youngest live with me, the eldest has his own home) ex met someone else, admitted to adultery, moved out and in with him on my youngest sons 12th birthday, she applied for divorce, after living apart for 2 years, i received divorce petition but never signed anything, i only knew we were divorced when the decree absolute came through, the divorce was the last thing on my mind, i was still trying to pick up the pieces of our broken family and working full time

My ex remarried and had 2 wages coming in and no dependents

July last year, 4 and a half years later i receive a solicitors letter saying she wants half of the house ! and is taking me to court

Although i work full time, I don't earn that much at all, certainly not enough to pay solicitors fees, but i needed advice, i racked up a £1000 bill, that was the initial consult, 2 letters and applying to court (application was in normal court Sol advised to get it into the family court where i would be looked on more favorably- something that hasn't happened yet!)

I realised i couldn't afford to go further with a Sol, so had to represent myself

I have been to court twice now, ordered by the judge to get 2 free valuations for the property which i did, my ex said it was worth more, her sol got the judge to agree to a paid valuation, which i had to pay half towards, £205, the valuation came out at exactly the same as the free valuations

I was also ordered to get my mortgage capacity, which i have done, basically i can only get £30k due to my income and age etc the last judge said my ex should get around £41k, i simply cannot raise anymore money, her Sol has said he will apply for compulsory sale order so i have to sell my property to pay her off the full amount, this seems so unfair as over the last 5 years now i have kept a roof over our heads, worked full time, been both mum and dad to my 3 sons, shes never paid a penny maintenance or anything to the mortgage or upkeep of the house in that time, at a rough guess that would add up to about £25k

I have offered £30k as a cash lump sum, as a full and final payment, she still wants more

The last hearing in June, the Judge basically swept me aside and had no interest in hearing my side of things at all, she even asked my why i wasn't claiming legal aid, because a i cant judge!, she also said my youngest could fend for himself in a years time !

I don't know where to turn, i have no money for a Sol, i don't qualify for legal aid, i have rang every possible advice centre in my area with no joy, most of the time they just say its family, your only option is a private Sol, don't they think if i had the funds i would be doing that

After all my bills/mortgage etc are paid, i'm probably left with about £25, and this will have to go towards paying off the £30k or more

Since all this has happened i have discovered that my ex didn't put our 3 children or that we had a property together on the divorce petition, I know she wanted to remarry as soon as possible so i'm guessing she did this on purpose in order to get the divorce through, again the judge didn't want to know about that either

It is back in court for a final hearing in October, i am terrified i will lose my house, my kids home and be left with nothing

It just beggars belief that she can walk back in to our lives and possibly take our home.

I feel that if the tables were turned and i had been the one to walk out, left her with the mortgage repayments/bills, bringing up our 3 kids, paid nothing for the kids or the house then decided that i wanted half, it would have been laughed out of court, in fact it wouldn't have even got to court, i wouldn't have a leg to stand on, so why does she

Can anyone help please, i'm desperate