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Hi everyone looking for opinions from you all
I’m a single mum who is in a relationship with a guy we have been together 3 year’s we have had ups and downs but we both love each other, my son relationship with my partner is strained someone who my son won’t name has be telling him I’m selfish for having a bf and I should look after myself and him only and stay single!!!
What do you guys think? How did you feel when the ex got a new partner?
I don’t think I’m doing any wrong my guy is a good guy he knows my son comes first, no safe guarding issues he provides and he includes him in all activities.
I know some women stay single because they feel it’s best for their child I respect that but I feel my son does benefit from having a father figure who is safe.
I’m I so wrong?
Tia
Hi there,
At 3 years, this is not a new relationship. How long has your son known of this relationship? You haven't mentioned how old your son is, but it would still seem that you are in the best place to be able to be able to talk things through with him and reassure him he's your number 1. Of course your son comes first, but that doesn't mean you have to come last and have nothing else. Perhaps remind your son of how he felt about your partner before this mysterious person started telling him their manipulative and opinionated views.
I've had similar conversations with male and female friends who've split up and started new relationships. I think a good rule is to get to know the new partner for an extended time, and work out if the relationship looks like it's going somewhere good, before introducing them slowly to the kids. I don't particularly think it's necessary to stay single for the sake of the kids, any more that it's necessary to stay married for the sake of the kids. Kids want their parents to be happy, as happy parents are more fun.
Thanks Toks
My son is 6 he’s getting closer to his father I think his ideal would be that we get back together but that’s never going to happen he knows he’s my number 1 and I do put him first but he’s being negative about my partner it feels like he’s been encouraged to be negative, my partner and son used to get on so well I don’t think he jealous of my partner because he knows he is loved I just think someone it’s being negative about my partner and it’s rubbing off, I want him to have a good relationship with his father But I’ve made it very clear that we won’t be getting back together ever but I feel that’s what he wants and this is why he’s rejecting my partner which is sad.
I feel you should carry on your relationship after all its been 3 years and going strong. He has probably helped you get over your previous relationship.
Your 6 year old wont necessarily benefit from you saying he has a father figure, every 6 year old is different. He actually has a dad he sees regular. You are probably right in an ideal world he may want you back together , but too young to understand that its unlikely to work. Over a short period of time your son if he got on well with your partner its likely he will do so again. Maybe it might take a little of extra attention here and there but it will work out fine.
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