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I have a Residency Order in my favour and my 5 year old son lives with me full time.
His mother has had no contact with him for 8 months now. (Her choice, not mine as I have always encouraged contact)
My dilemma is this, recently my son's oldest brother (different father than me) has invited me, my g/f and my son to his own son's christening.
My son has very very sporadic contact with his maternal grandparents and his older siblings, in fact hardly any in 8 months.
Do I take him and possibly confuse him as to why he doesn't see his brothers and sister and his other grandparents? He never, or hardly ever, asks about his mum (who wouldn't be attending the christening as she doesn't speak to her parents or children)
I want what's best for my (our) son so I'm at a loss as to go or not.
I don't want to deny him his maternal family but then again I don't want to possibly confuse and/or upset him.
Advice please guys......
Hi Ld, Personally I wouldn't as there's so many people that would be involved, if it was maybe just 1 person fair enough. Or even if there was a chance that this meeting meant regular acquaintance would maintain which doesn't sound likely.
As an aside, htf can a mum not speak to her 5 year old for 8 months? I'm going up the wall wishing my life away every 2 weeks and live purely for seeing my son.
I wouldn't dismiss it without serious thought, after all this is his family too.
Perhaps have a word with the eldest brother and discuss your concerns with him, he may have discussed inviting you with the wider family and perhaps he can put your mind at rest, or offer to have a word with grandparents and siblings to make things easier for your little one.
At 5 years old your little boy won't understand the complexities and as his mum won't be there he shouldn't get upset.
Maybe a happy medium would be to go to the service but not to the do afterwards.
Whatever you decide I'm sure you will do the right thing for your boy. Good luck.
Well....I think it's worth considering.
It's your boys family and since his mum won't be there he will be feeling secure with you.
Why not meet up with other relatives? If you treat it as a kind of get-together and answer any
questions your son may ask I can't see why you shouldn't go.
I would go along the same lines as Mojo...but at 5 years old he will be asking questions soon anyway,
if he hasn't already and you could use this as an opportunity to introduce some wider family to him.
Take care
Kirsten
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