[Solved] Should I go to the contact centre to see my child?

Hi there

I think your question about walking away may provoke some strong responses in favour of you not doing so!

How can it be in the best interests of a child that one of their parents decides not to be a part of their life, surely it's better to fight for your child, not drop them because you can't be bothered!

I'm sorry that you have had a bad experience, but in my opinion your solicitor at the time gave you the wrong advice, you had a court order and it was the mothers duty to abide by it. To say there was nothing that could be done just wasn't true, you could have applied to the court for an enforcement order. Courts make these orders because they agree that children need both parents involved in their lives.

In your current situation, you have a long established schedule of contact, which would be in your favour if you take it further. Your first step is to attend mediation to try and get your arrangement back on track. If this fails, or she ignores the request to attend mediation, the mediator will sign off the form for you to apply to court for a Child Arrangements Order for contact. There's no necessity to have a solicitor for court proceedings, many dads here have self represented with much success and we will do all we can to advise and support you through the process, should you decide to go ahead.

Here's a link to the mediation services

www.nfm.org.uk

You might benefit from attending a Families Need Fathers meeting, if there's one in your area, where you'll get face to face support and advice from others in a similar situation. Here's a link to their website where you'll find details of meetings nationally.

www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings.

I do hope you find the strength and support to fight for the rights of your child to have you in their life.

thank you for your words of support,I will get the enforcement order sorted ASAP

I 've contacted a mediator to see how we can get this back on track asmy ex wont answer my calls or emails

Do you think I should peruse Parental Responsibility ? I expect this will involve Cafcass and a solicitor or can I do this myself?

You'll need form C79 to apply for an Enforcement Order.

If you aren't named on your younger childs birth certificate, you can apply for parental responsibility at the same time as you submit the application for contact. You will need form C100 for the CAO (which the mediator will supply if mediation fails) and form C1 for PR.

There is a court fee of £215 to make the application, but if you are on benefits or a low income, you may be entitled to a part or full exemption from the charge and you would need form EX160a to do this.

CAFCASS will be contacted once an application has been received by the court and will conduct an interview with both parents, usually over the telephone. There are lots of stickys at the top of the legal eagle section about the process, which you may find helpful.

Get mediation underway and see where it goes, if it doesn't work then court is your only other option, as I said before, this is doable without a solicitor and we will do all we can to advise and support you through the process.

thank you, your a great help, thank god for Tim Berners-Lee, 14 years ago I didnt have this resource

Ah the WWW..a miraculous tool!

You mention a time frame of 14 years....is that how long ago contact with your other child stopped? I think I should mention that if your child is 16 now you would be unable to apply to enforce the original order for contact I'm afraid, as that's the cut off point for family court applications, except under exceptional circumstances. Once a child becomes 16 they can make decisions for themselves, even choosing who they live with.

Unless I got the wrong end of the stick and your current arrangement is via court order? If that's the case, once the mother has breached the order you don't have to go through mediation and can apply to the court for enforcement.

Even where there has been breaches, it can be better to attempt to sort it by mediation first, as court should always be the very last resort. Although I'm sure some members would disagree and encourage court enforcement without delay.

Also, if there is a court order for your younger child already in place, the issue of PR should have been dealt with at that juncture, I would check your order to confirm that. If mediation is still on the table and your ex agrees to it, you could discuss the signing of a Parental Responsibility Agreement, which can be done without an application to court.