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Hi all. Ok so will try and keep this short. Have been divorced for over 10 years.(due to her having affairs and irrational behaviour) And remarried 9 years ago to my new wife. Have 2 children with ex. She made things very very difficult and had to go to court for a contact order and have had to return to court for prohibited steps order on occasions for such things as she was going to leave my children with a man who they barely knew for a month whilst she went on holiday and such. Had little contact with daughter as was told she wanted nothing to do with me and hated my new wife. Always felt there was manipulation but could never prove anything but have maintained a strong relationship with son and as much as I could with daughter throughout and indeed he only knows life this way as he was a baby when we split. Ex has had a chaotic lifestyle introducing several men to the children but never being able to maintain a stable relationship as she herself is unstable. Daughter at 15 was kicked out by ex as she had an argument with her and ex has had nothing to do with her since hardly. No birthday cards nothing and the argument was because my daughter wanted to go to her prom and not babysit her brother whilst mum went to the pub with yet another man. Daughter has since had to go to counselling because of the treatment she endured with her mother. Locking her in a cupboard when she said something nice about me is just the tip of the iceberg. However she is turning in to a lovely young girl with our help and patience. And has a wonderful relationship with my new wife. Tried telling social services and school but as there is no evidence they won't do anything about it. Son has come out as being gay (on instagram!)and is in year eight of secondary school. With a very supportive network of friends. He also has a large extended family right here and he loves them all. Ex has no family as was an only child of only children who had her late in life. Found out (from instagram again) they are moving to Cornwall. Eventually when I text several times ex confirmed they will go at the end of October. (Only 2 weeks ago she was blackmailing me to take son to a concert in Birmingham which I found a pleasure to do anyway and didn't need blackmailing)
But she has said that I can have an extra week in the holidays to see him as I won't be able to see him every two weeks as we do now per court order and 3 weeks in the holidays. This has been difficult to maintain as she will not stick to the proper order but it's impossible to keep going back to court for enforcement. But we have had a good run lately. Ex has no family in Cornwall just a distant family friend. She doesn't need to work as she owns several properties here around where she lives and rents them out and the school son goes to is one of the top achievers in the area. But we've found out the village where she moved to ( a move I didn't know about until she dropped my son off with his new school tee shirt on) have had enough of her and she has lost any friends she has made with her irrational and aggressive behaviour. We know she has been physical towards my son and has neglected him in the past as daughter has confided in us (after many months of counselling) but could never prove anything and social services would make an appointment to see her and hey presto it was like the Waltons when they attended. I am going to have to put in prohibited steps order but what do you all think about my trying for residence? Daughter who is now 19 is willing to also back up my petition but don't know how the court will listen any more than schools or social services. Really need your help and apologies for length but needed to try and get my point across as simply as possible.
Presumably your son is about 12 or 13 ? At that age I'd imagine his opinion will likely be given weight, and that could be the difference between an application for residency succeeding or not.
Best
Yes of course. Thing is he will go along with his Mum with whatever. As that's the easiest option I'm afraid. He's seen just how she has treated her own daughter and is too frightened by her not to do her bidding I'm afraid.
Thanks for the reply though. That's great
Hi I think it's definitely worth making an application and you could include a witness statement from your daughter once the court begin exploring wishes and feelings. It wouldn't just be about what your son wants, although that will carry weight. Given that there has been a previous move without informing you and her history of instability, the court will have to question if this could occur again and they will have serious concerns that your son is at a crucial point of his education.
I would say apply for the PSO & Child Arrangement Order. I would probably suggest doing an emergency application as she has indicated going soon. If she decides to go earlier than indicated, you would have a harder time getting him back.
To do that, you just complete the forms, claim exemption from mediation and take the forms to court in person. You should get a hearing the same day or in a couple of days.
Good luck
I think I've just got to go for it and hope that the court listens to me and my daughter and sees beyond the manipulation etc.
Once again many thanks
Perhaps Yoda can clarify if its possible to include your daughter on the application as a party? It might be helpful to be able to have your daughter involved in this way, she could sit in court and would be a party to the proceedings.
If you can't put her on the C100 you could perhaps submit form C2 with the other form, which asks for permission for your daughter to be added as a party to the proceeedings.
Best of luck
Hi
I'm not sure if that could be done. I suspect it would be a decision for the judge to make. At a guess, I would say the reasons for having the daughter added as a party, could be covered with her providing a witness statement, and being called to give evidence if necessary. I think it would definitely be worth asking Cafcass to speak with the daughter as well as the son.
I do think an emergency application is necessary though.
Best of luck
Thanks so much everyone. Have made an appointment at a solicitors for some more advice. Will let everyone know the outcome on Thursday But yes they have said that a Prohibited Steps Order should be filed ASAP as it could be that now the cat is out of the bag as it were, she may bring the moving date forward without saying anything and then it's a different issue altogether.
Once again thank you all
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