[Solved] Shared Parental Responsibility with another

Hi, I've never come across this. I've been doing some searching but cannot find an answer for you. Have you tried to call CMO and speak to them about it? You don't have to have a case open with them to ask for information.

http://www.cmoptions.org/

Hi,

Thanks for your quick response. Yes, it's quite a rare set of circumstances I imagine. Most people I tell about this situation struggle to get their head around it 🙂

I'm certainly not trying to get out of paying maintenance but I'd like it to be fair. If I end up paying less maintenance because the other guy also has parental responsibility (and therefore a share in the maintenance), then I'm planning on putting money towards a savings account for my son and also additional purchases (clothing, etc).

Anyway, thanks for the advice. I'd not heard of the CMO before so I'll give them a call and report back.

Thanks again!

How does he have PR for a child that isnt his?

any further along?

Hi

Apologies for the late reply. From my understanding, a person automatically assumes parental responsibility for a child if he's married to the mother at the time of birth. I don't think that's removed if they split up, although I'm not 100% sure on this.

Anyway, I received the following response:

Parental responsibility and child maintenance are separate, so unless your son has been legally-adopted by the other parent, under the statutory rules, you have sole responsibility to pay regular child maintenance towards your son's upbringing.

That's fair enough I suppose and I'm happy to ensure he's taken care of financially if that's the case. It just grieves me slightly that I have to take a backseat with respect to this other guy as the mother views him as my boy's primary father. If I had been the one who was seeing an ex partner behind her back and then left her during the pregnancy then I'd probably be a bit more understanding. I've had to let a lot of things go though because I realise they're just my egos pulling me down and making me unhappy. I do get access and when I'm feeling down about things, or if I'm feeling like I've been dealt an unfair hand, then I try to come back to the question: Is my little boy happy? He is and that's all that really counts. I was just hoping to share some financial responsibility with this other 'dad' as he just wants to have his cake and eat it. I guess the system has to keep it simple as possible though and they can't take into consideration all of the different circumstances that exist.

I think its PR at the point of birth if married and its your child. OR you sign birth certificate. Those names on BC as mother and father have PR.

Otherwise this is a wonderful loophole to cut out fathers

Ah, that's good to know, thanks for the response. If it ever comes to it, at least I know my rights now and that he has no PR just because he was married to her at the time of birth. I guess the mother can still give priority access to the other guy and that's something that I'll just have to accept. I'll just make sure that we enjoy our times together when I do have him.

Thanks for the support!

You wrote

.... I do get access and when I'm feeling down about things, or if I'm feeling like I've been dealt an unfair hand, then I try to come back to the question: Is my little boy happy? He is and that's all that really counts.

What a fantastic attitude to have Mr G. As unfair as it is, you are able to rise above it for the benefit of your child. Let's hope as he gets older he will decide that he wants to spend more time with you. The bond between a father and his child is incredibly strong and no matter that he has other male figures in his life, he will recognise you as his Dad.

Best of luck