Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi ,
Wondering if anybody can give me advice please I have my 5 year daughter mon,wed,fri,sat,sun night one week and Tue night and thurs night the week after I pick her up from school and take her to school . Provide for her uinform and clothes meals etc for when she is in my care also child care if needed.
She doesn’t like going to the local after school care so with my job I try to make sure she doesn’t have to go as her mum has to send my little girl there on my opposite days. Also in the school holidays I provide care in the daytime on my days for my daughter pick her up from her mums early morning before she goes to work.
Basically from reading on here I’m classed as shared care as the nights work out over 175 nights per year.
The original agreement which I arranged but was only on text message was that she didn’t want me to pay anything as I had pay my own child care on the days etc. But I still gave her £20 a week as it’s for my daughter.
She has tried taking a day of me per week or threatened to so I said well you have no right and tried saying my daughter doesn’t want to come any more but my daughter loves her dad and loves coming. Then I received a letter from the CMS.
Looking at the info on here as regards the MP Steve Webb quote I shouldn’t have to pay anything but I’n what way do I need to provide sufficient evidence ? As I know she will say I don’t have her that amount of time ?
It's not easy to convince the CMS that you have shared care, if the mother won't confirm it. They usually require a court order as proof and from the sound of it you have a family based arrangement.
I've deleted your duplicate post, it can be confusing if there are two threads running on an identical topic.
Many thanks , yes seems very grey area as regards the proof etc , I’m off to see a solicitor next week as regards the matter. Is there anything you reccomend to get in place.
Sorry as regards the other thread and thanks still learning My around the site and not sure how it happened.
You could try starting a photographic record, school pick ups, getting ready for bed, breakfast time.. Photos taken with a phone are timed and dated I think, so it could be one way of proving that you share the care equally.
The trouble is that the CMS consider that the parent that receives the child benefit, is the primary carer and puts one parent on the back foot.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.