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Ok so first of all I'm not a dad. I'm trying to help my paenter sort out a sticky situation. So basically since we moved in together his son and daughter would stay with us every weekend. Last weekend they stayed with us, myself and my partner fell out, this was infront of the children (not ideal I know) but now the mum is saying that the kids are no longer aloud here and my partner is only aloud to see them at his parents (completely out of order in my books) or she will stop all contact. Anyway, to get to the point. I think he needs to go to court and get contact with his children in concrete so she can't use them as a weapon. The only problem is we don't have a lot of money and could never afford to do this with a solicitor. Has anybody gone to court and self represented themselves? Without a solicitor. How did it go? How do we go about doing this? Any help and advice will be greatly appreciated
The first step would be to get your partner to write a business like letter to his children's mother expressing his concerns to her suggested actions and also giving reassurance with the situation. Don't go into too much detail and read the letter back to yourselves to make sure it is reasonable and has no personal digs, as if it has you will not get a positive response.
The next steps would be:
You can represent yourself in court but first you need to show that you've tried mediation. You can contact local mediation services and the mediator can help you to discuss the issue/s and if you like you can write this down as an unofficial contract. Judges will look favourably on you making the effort to do this.
Another step could be to send a solicitors letter with your concerns and suggest an unofficial contract organised through them. This will cost but no where near as much as going to court.
The court system was just updating when I was there last which was 2014 after 3 1/2 years of going through that process. But when I was there I used a Solicitor or Barrister for very important issues and self represented when I felt I could go it alone, which was most of the time for the last 2 years. Also having a solicitor purely for advice and letters is a great help and then represent yourself in court.
Hi There,
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As said above, I would write the ex a letter, expressing how sorry you are that the children were around at the point the 2 of you fell out, but explain that it wasn't as bad as it may seem, it was just a dissagreement, write it in a way that plays down what happened, but also acknowledges that it wasn't an ideal thing to happen whilst the children were there, you want to show that you are taking the ex's concerns on board, without really allowing her to make it a big issue. If you want me to read through the letter you write I am more than happy to do this if you send me a private message with the contents of the letter, or if easier I can give you an email adress to send it too.
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If she doesn't respond then the next step is mediation, where hopefully a mediator will be able to help your partner and his ex to discuss things calmly and resolve the situation, if the ex won't attend or they can't work things out, then you can apply to court, the mediator will sign the court application to show your ex has at least tried to use them.
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Self representing in court isn't as difficult as you would think, with just basic knowledge and a bit of support it's easily possible to gain a good result and many of us have been through this proccess. There are some sticky's in the legal section which explain the proccess and what you should expect so have a read through so you can be ready.
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The main point is though that there is a lot of experience on this forum and we will all try and help you through this with help and advice, so ask any questions you have and we will try and answer.
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GTTS
It's entirely possible to self rep through court and this sounds like a relatively straight forward case. The courts are used to dealing with people self repping, it's not as daunting as it seems.
As said, attempting mediation is mandatory before being allowed to make an application to court. Legal Aid is still available for mediation if you qualify.
You can find details of your nearest mediator here.
You might benefit from attending a Families Need Fathers meeting in your local area too.
It's entirely possible to self rep through court and this sounds like a relatively straight forward case. The courts are used to dealing with people self repping, it's not as daunting as it seems.
As said, attempting mediation is mandatory before being allowed to make an application to court. Legal Aid is still available for mediation if you qualify.
You can find details of your nearest mediator here.
You might benefit from attending a Families Need Fathers meeting in your local area too.
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