[Solved] Second hearing in two months

The courts will only prevent a move generally if it is being done solely to prevent contact, which is clearly not the case here.

If you look at it objectively, if she wants to move on with her life, then your new lives are the 2.5 hours apart, so if she doesn't move, then she can't have her new life. You can try to go to court to prevent the move, but in my opinion, as above, you are very unlikely to succeed, and in trying, you will likely create a lot of animosity where there isn't any at the moment. I would say that the best solution is to work with what is likely to happen, and to find compromise solutions so that you can see your son on a regular basis, ideally with the costs split between you.

Hi there

I agree with actd, courts are loathe to interefere in people lives to the extent of stopping them from moving on with their lives. You're best bet is to concentrate on getting Arrangements in place to take account of the changed circumstances, perhaps looking at shared travelling expenses, or perhaps meeting half way for handovers and longer time during school holidays to compensate for less time during term time.

There are many parents that can and do make this work and as long as your child is happy that is the main thing.

All the best

Thanks for your reply. I’m not sure if I made myself clear, but On a Thursday night my son sleeps over and that’s why i take him to school the next morning. I was hoping as he has evening stays with me, a court wouldn’t want to change his weekly routine. I suspected that may not be the case, and was really hoping it wasn’t. We’ve already had our first hearing and as I wasn’t willing to give up the fight just yet, we already have another planned. My son also has to talk to cafcass. I’m just hoping against all odds that my son will stay. I would complain about my ex if there was something to say, but apart from not willing to correspond with me at the moment, there is nothing. Sad times.

... that’s ok, I did understand that you have a regular routine in place, but it’s unlikely to to prevent the court from agreeing the move. Really there are few reasons why the court would stop a relocation, that would be if the moving parent was taking such an action to prevent contact, or the move would be detrimental to the child.

I have to admit my head falls in disbelief when I read these stories. When the mother and father decided to have this child, they effectively entered into an arrangement where they are both responsible for raising this child. They both committed to it emotionally, physically, financially.

Now one of the parties decided to move on with her life. No one is stopping her moving on with her life, she can go and the child can stay and live with father. My disbelief lies in the fact that people think it's normal she can reduce the kid's relationship with his father because she wants to move on with her life and therefore is no longer responsible for the decision she made of her own free will of having a child with this man.

Pragmatically speaking, I do think actd and mojo are right in as far as society places very little value in fatherhood, and therefore you are at a serious disadvantage, but you never know, see what the case law says. Be prepared to have to accept defeat but show your kid he's important to you.

Just don't attack or be negative about the mother, instead focus on the positives of your relationship with your son and how that's important for his development, attacking her will get you nowhere and could damage your relationship with your son, don't do it.

I don't think that it's that society places little value on fatherhood in this case, it's just that the court can't prevent her moving, which means that there simply isn't a solution that satisfies all parties.

In my own case, the mother of my children moved 3 hours away after we split up, so I had to travel to see them, but this backfired on her a couple of years later when I took the children away from her as she was neglecting them, meaning that she was the one that had to do the travelling for a while, until she decided it was too much trouble for her to bother any more.

Our lives are constantly changing, nothing stays the same and personal choice is high on the list of the freedoms that we aspire to in our society. I can understand why a court would be loathe to limit a persons ability to move freely around the country, that kind of thing only happens in countries like Russia and China, and even there state control is loosening its grip nowadays.

Its not that society places little value on fatherhood, it just places more value on personal freedom.

That said I do think there’s an imbalance between mothers and fathers rights as such and the laws that govern that need bringing up to date to reflect the new family dynamic.

I’m sorry but I don’t think this has anything to do with personal freedom. The child staying with the father in an environment the child is already familiar with doesn’t restrict the mothers liberty of going wherever she wants to go.

Also from what I’ve read , courts have moved away from the times when all a woman had to do was say she would be distressed if she wasn’t allowed to move, and these days they put more focus on the impact the move will have on the child. The mothers freedom of movement is not the courts paramount concern.

The OP might want to read this, even though it makes for depressing reading, father had child 40% of time and mother was allowed to move child from London to Cumbria, and you tell me there’s not a problem of society placing little value in fatherhood :s

http://www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed153303

Thank you for your comments. I’m really trying to hold it together atm. My ex has already offered extra hours/weekends and is prepared to share the driving/travelling. She has applied for specific issues order and child arrangement. I can’t have my son full time as my working hours are irratic (shift work) I just get my weekends in a rota and make sure my night in the week with him is sorted with work. Surely cafcass should day that as we share the care it should remain that way?

I'm afraid that cafcass are unlikely to recommend that she is prevented from moving, and a court would be unlikely to make the order preventing her from doing so, so you need to come to the best arrangement you can under those circumstances, try for extra time during holidays, get her sharing travelling written into the order etc.

Just a short update. I’ve recieved the cafcass report today and although the cafcass lady seems to have taken on board everything I’ve said, I’m upset to see that she has ‘highly recommended’ that My son be permitted to move away with my Ex. Am I correct in thinking that the judge is more than likely to follow this recommendation!