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This is my first time posting, so please excuse me if I don’t explain myself well. I am already divorced, have three children, 2 at uni and a 10 ye old son. I’ve been to mediation and have been to my first hearing. My ex is looking to relocate south about 2 1/2 hours away and is looking to take my son. My ex has been in a relationship for around three years and is marrying in about 18months. We generally get on well , but I DO NOT want her to move my son away. I see him on a Thursday night for a couple of hours before he goes to bed and then drop him to school the next morning and I have him EOW Friday night to Sunday night. I also have him a few weeks in the holidays. We have no family where we live, but my son has lived here all of his life. My ex wants to move my son when he starts secondary school. Here’s where I think everything isn’t in my favour: the local secondary here isn’t very good and my ex has found an outstanding school close to her family. My son also seems to have no preference whether he stays or goes. Any advice would be much appreciated.
The courts will only prevent a move generally if it is being done solely to prevent contact, which is clearly not the case here.
If you look at it objectively, if she wants to move on with her life, then your new lives are the 2.5 hours apart, so if she doesn't move, then she can't have her new life. You can try to go to court to prevent the move, but in my opinion, as above, you are very unlikely to succeed, and in trying, you will likely create a lot of animosity where there isn't any at the moment. I would say that the best solution is to work with what is likely to happen, and to find compromise solutions so that you can see your son on a regular basis, ideally with the costs split between you.
Hi there
I agree with actd, courts are loathe to interefere in people lives to the extent of stopping them from moving on with their lives. You're best bet is to concentrate on getting Arrangements in place to take account of the changed circumstances, perhaps looking at shared travelling expenses, or perhaps meeting half way for handovers and longer time during school holidays to compensate for less time during term time.
There are many parents that can and do make this work and as long as your child is happy that is the main thing.
All the best
Thanks for your reply. I’m not sure if I made myself clear, but On a Thursday night my son sleeps over and that’s why i take him to school the next morning. I was hoping as he has evening stays with me, a court wouldn’t want to change his weekly routine. I suspected that may not be the case, and was really hoping it wasn’t. We’ve already had our first hearing and as I wasn’t willing to give up the fight just yet, we already have another planned. My son also has to talk to cafcass. I’m just hoping against all odds that my son will stay. I would complain about my ex if there was something to say, but apart from not willing to correspond with me at the moment, there is nothing. Sad times.
... that’s ok, I did understand that you have a regular routine in place, but it’s unlikely to to prevent the court from agreeing the move. Really there are few reasons why the court would stop a relocation, that would be if the moving parent was taking such an action to prevent contact, or the move would be detrimental to the child.
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