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Hi, I haven't been on for quite a while as I have been trying to sort my own life out as well as battle to see my girls.
I have recently been to family court after 3 years of not seeing my 3 year old girls and I asked for a fact finding hearing as my ex has been manipulating the system and not allowing me to see them claiming she has.
I have now the chance to put 5 allegations against my ex as she does with me, I should say 5 lies for her as that is what it will be.
This is called Scott Schedule, I was wondering if anyone has ever done this and knows where to download the template as I need to have the number, allegation, ex response and judges verdict in the boxes but have only found some with some of the boxes and not all.
If anyone could help me with this I would be really grateful.
My ex was represented with legal aid while I had to listen to their lies, I stood strong and never backed down once.
I hate liars and if that's what it takes to get your kids, she won't keep them after the truth comes out is the way I look at it. I have all the evidence while hers is just made up [censored], the 2 things she has on me are already dealt with and the judge was against going back into that.
I wish and hope everyone is either seeing their kids or fighting in court to do so.
It took me 3 years and wish I had gone sooner.
Thanks in advance.
Here's link to further information/document about Scott schedules
https://docs.wixstatic.com/ugd/69743a_4e92708a92c14423af634d8a9bf527fb.doc?dn=scott_schedule.doc
I had to do this quite a few years ago, here's a few links to previous posts, hope they help.
https://www.dad.info/forum/legal-eagle/49280-advice-with-responding-to-scott-schedule#88936
https://www.dad.info/forum/legal-eagle/49306-responding-to-scott-scedule-statement#89045
https://www.dad.info/forum/legal-eagle/50039-fact-finding-help?start=12#92663
Just an update on the Scott Schedule regarding my case.
I struggled to find the template but when I did I worked on it to the best of my ability.
What a waste of time and effort that was as it was completely ignored,
I proved every allegation she made to be false and backed it up with the evidence, my allegations also have evidence to back this up yet I got nothing from this so called judge!
I went back to court for part 2 of the FHDRA hearing, and the judge allowed the first Judges court order, a copy of the kids birth Certificates so that I can open an account for them, only to be ignored by demanding I use my daughters own savings to pay for the copies of their birth certificates, maybe a much needed holiday will be using it for but not what he wanted, I told him I refuse.
I requested a fact finding hearing, declined by the judge, my ex demanded anything she could make up and her solicitors got it, such a fair and equal system we have in place. I got up and told the judge his court was corrupt and the case was biased against fathers and walked out.
Back to the Scott Schedule, it was never mentioned, 5 allegations each and none of them from her were about the kids, and none were about my drinking habits, What would she know after being gone for over 3 years? yet the drinking abuse which I am meant to have, comes up as she requests further allegations through CAFCASS, I have requested my evidence to be seen, a drug test by the ex and her family and nothing. She now wants hair testing for alcohol abuse, and it was allowed by the judge, Scumbag!
Family court is a joke and if this continues I will walk away for good as I can't keep being put through this stress every couple of months, my next appointment is with CAFCASS 2 days before Father's day to rub salt in to the wounds, they do this on purpose it seems, I am further from seeing my kids now then before I applied to court.
This system is so far backwards, yet there is nothing we can do to change it.
I no longer feel like a Father and feel it was all a dream having kids, but more like a nightmare meeting the ex!
Good luck to anyone going to family courts, you'll certainly need it!
Hi there
Whilst I agree that courts are adversarial and can seem very one sided, attitude and behaviour of the parties does play an important role. To have openly attacked the judge and the system and walked out of the proceedings was a big mistake and will only confirm their assertions that you’re unreasonable and volatile and will have handed an advantage to your ex.
I really want to try and support you, so I urge you to keep your head down from now on and comply with all that is requested of you... if they say jump, you say how high. They create hoops to jump through, this is the experience for most going through the process... the more you try and buck the system, the more hoops they will produce for you to jump through.
You’re angry, I get that, but I know that you don’t want to walk away, so take some time out to recharge and regroup.
All the best
Hi,
Thank you for your response.
I went to my first hearing in which I made the application, as I have fought to see my girls for over 3 years and my ex has done everything in her favour from the system to prevent this from happening.
I tried mediation twice, was told to go F**K myself, been to solicitors, MP and everywhere else possible, my last hope I was told would be family court, what a joke!
I have a restraining order which was extended as my ex was stalking me, yet I got arrested for posting the truth on my whatsapp status, which somehow she saw even though she was blocked, Although I was found not guilty I was given a further 12 months extension, I actually considered asking the judge for life time but both ways.
It seems that the system wants fathers removed from all children's lives and this is obvious to me more than some, due to my experiences with the systems.
In the first hearing, the first question from the Judge was "are you really sure you are applying for full custody seeing as you haven't seen your children for over 3 years?" I replied "yes, it is the system that allows this to happen".
From that moment on I knew how it was going to end, it was a 3 way conversation about my past with the Judge, ex's solicitor, and CAFCASS, (I have a criminal record, as should my ex but the police won't do their jobs when it comes to certain parts of society) I was hardly included in anything that was going on, or being said about me.
It was decided that there would be a Scott Schedule to be done within 14 days, and sent to the other party, then a further 14 days to respond and return it to the court. I kept to this although it was a struggle, I accepted I would pay half for police files, which I now refuse to do if I have to pay for the BC's, I was told I would receive a copy of the girls BC's so that I could open an account, I received a poor scan copy sent by email.
The Scott Schedule was a waste of my time as it would have favoured me and would show her for her true colours as a compulsive liar, so it was removed.
I am now asked to pay for hair testing, have to pay for girls BC's at £25 each, and I am paying Child Maintenance even though I haven't seen my girls since they were a month old due to my child beating ex, social workers reports show further evidence of child abuse after she kidnapped the girls,
Police were ready to arrest parents, the only time I am included in their lives other than paying for them, and Social Worker stated that she would have to inform father of these findings in which she believed father would request the girls returned to his care, I was never informed about any of this, yet they question me as to why I believed the girls weren't mine, I still question it today, although I had a DNA test done, it was through a government requested agency so I am unlikely to trust the results seeing as both came back the same but they're not identical twins,
I trust no one now!
I have been walked over by my ex and this abusive system for far too long, my evidence of domestic violence in which my ex attacked me several times, with photo proof was ignored, as with everything else I have given them as I done their jobs for them, I will not just be treated like a mug in court and have rights to be treated equally, I don't see why I get nothing and she gets everything her way and gets to keep the kids after abusing them and I end up with nothing from the case I have fought for.
I will be told that I can see my girls for 2 hours a fortnight in a contact centre? sod that, I am meant to be a Father, not a joke, not a sperm donor, and not a babysitter for when she feels like letting me see them.
If we all sit back and give in to the system then they will continue to abuse us and our kids, and let mothers walk all over us, I am not allowing that to happen to me, my girls will see how weak men are and treat them the same way we are being treated, no thanks!
They are also asking me to go on a SPIP course, not sure why I need this as I don't want anything to do with my ex ever again, but I will attend on the basis it shows how kids lives are affected, depending on how the meeting with CAFCASS goes, but if I am having to keep giving then I want something back from this case as she has got away with so much in the past and is still getting her way now, I will not keep giving in and if walking away for good is the only way then so be it.
I haven't had any support for the past 3 years other than sites like this and the system would rather that fathers were removed permanently.
I'm sorry, but I say things as they are and if the judge, or anyone else thinks I am a this or a that than I don't care,
I will tell the judge what I think of him or her, the first judge wanted to prevent anything from either of our pasts being dragged up and said it was the future of the girls that mattered which was right, but CAFCASS and her solicitor promoted the past mostly mine being brought up, and requested her past to be left in the past.
I want a fair case and if this won't happen then I won't be doing anything further for them to make me look bad and her play the victim as she has done, there are only 2 victims and they are the girls, they will be victims of bullying and further abuse being dragged up by that thing and the system that protects abusers.
I am angry at the fact my kids are being brought up by a woman that threw a 2 week old baby across the bed, and a pillow over the baby's face the following day, she denied it all this time and now tried to play it down by claiming it was a blanket, also placing the baby down hard on the bed rather than throwing the baby, yet no one has picked up on this, and my allegations are still seen as malicious! Wouldn't you feel angry?
I would request that the judge and all others involved in this case are going to take full responsibility for when she does lose control again, and does do something to hurt the girls or worse, but that will never happen as they can walk away from the case and never worry about the consequences they create, as they are told what to do by the corrupt government, and causing mental health in kids brings in more money than having happy kids grow up in loving families.
I give up, I really do!
Thanks again for getting back to me,
I wish you all the best.
Father of none!
dont know what to say. where do you stand now? whats the next steps?
I have a meeting with CAFCASS next month so will see how that goes as I want my evidence to be seen by the courts, Then they can decide based on all the evidence from both sides rather than a one sided case which supports the mother as always.
You must think my response/advice was pretty pro establishment... it may seem that way, but I know from years of moderating that your approach will set you back.
Yo may think it’s easy for me, sitting behind a computer, dishing out advice, it isn’t, there are times when I see such injustice, and yet my advice remains the same...don’t rise to it, rise above it, jump through the hoops, compromise... because this is the formula that will bring success.
All of us set out to get our kids back in our lives, but it’s not a straight road, there are many twists and turns and we can often lose sight of the goal, our frustration and anger blind us to the very reason we started the journey in the first place... don’t make the mistake of being sidetracked by the craziness of process and procedure, it can seem like they set you up to fail, in a way that’s how it works...we are tested, we are confronted with allegations, we are tested and checked... what they look for is the person that doesn’t react, that can rise above it and be the bigger person, hold their calm, show reason and look for compromise... once you cotton onto to the “rules” and start to apply them, the pieces start to fall into place... it’s slow, it’s frustrating and it takes strength of character and determination... but it’s achievable.
I want you to succeed, I want all the guys that come here in need of support and advice to find a way back to their kids, and most of time they get results, on occasion they get everything they ask for and sometimes they have to compromise, and for a handful it’s not so good...It isn’t a one size fits all, but the one constant is attitude... Presenting a calm reasonable and humble exterior at all times is one of the key ingredients.
All the best
Hi Again Mojo and all, thanks for your reply.
I don't think you are pro establishment at all, I have heard the same advice in the past and I hear it all the time, but nothing ever changes and neither will I!
I get what you say when you speak about them looking for the person which doesn't react, it is difficult to see that as she has her legal aid solicitor doing all the talking for her as well as, or instead of me, so it is always likely to be the Father to react in this kind of situation.
This abuse has been going on for far too long, for over 40 year and most probably longer, I just feel by doing the same thing over and over and expectations are limited, then nothing will ever change as we are all happy to jump through their hoops without any challenge as we are weak pathetic men, I want to change this stance as I am not giving in to these morons, yes I am a stubborn person and have been told to let her have her way many times, her way was on return to collecting her belongings from my flat was to get me into bed whilst the restraining order was in place and with police present, would that be a wise thing to do?, especially without police present? I would have most likely got done on a rape charge!
She also tried to get me to meet up in secret to her address (during the restraining order) I wasn't meant to know about, yet I have told them this but that doesn't matter, I have death threats from her and her ex partner and still she is the poor little victim.
I have had enough of the system we barely survive under, if you can even call it survive as it certainly isn't living under it.
I will never have the input into my girls lives which I had hoped, imagined and wanted, they are officially her kids, not mine!
My ex told me she was useless with the educational side and would leave that to me, I have the Nations top 1% girls School just 10 minutes walk from where I live, she has a shooting or stabbing on hers, or the next estate every other day, What can you give a kid when you are out of their lives more than you are in their lives?
After her taking the girls, there was a social workers report showing Fractured hands/fingers, shaken baby syndrome, section 47 closed by Social Worker only to be reopened by the Dr at the hospital, failures from all sides, maybe even the DNA test was rigged who knows? And yet the court have seen this but refuse to see my further evidence, I have a screenshot confession from her Facebook through a friend, and they're still not wanting it to be used. I can't keep being attacked and not be allowed to defend myself, as men, we are screwed from day one and have to fight for our rights to see our own kids? have to respond to false allegations and prove ourselves innocent as what mother says is right and Father is lying, and guilty of everything.
I want to be a real full time Father to my girls, but if I have to take attacks and abuse to do this than it will destroy the only thing I have left, ME! An abused Father is not a good Father to show kids the right way forward, I won't change my ways for a system that is wrong, the system should change it's ways to do things right, and listen to both sides and look through any evidence, treat it like a criminal court if necessary.
My ex got legal aid so doesn't have to speak, I have questions I want answered, and her solicitor is the one which sends me the court order through email but only once I am told I have to do this or do that by them, I asked where it was stated I have to do anything, which is the only reason they forwarded me the court order, surely the court should be sending me this information as they do with them?
I feel I am not part of the case when in court, just being spoken to, and about like I am a criminal and child abuser.
My first hearing was fair, I felt good after the hearing which was adjourned, I wish I had the same Judge as he was fair on both sides unlike the second judge, it all depends on who you get on the day which is wrong, it was adjourned regarding the Scott Schedule as it needed to be complete for the continued first hearing which it never was, is this a common practice in family courts? asking for something which is later ignored?
I started a new job 5 months ago, I can't keep taking time off for a wasted court date which the reasons I attend are not carried out, like I said previously, I will attend the CAFCASS meeting and if nothing changes then I am done with this corrupt case. I am now told my next court date won't be announced as the courts are extremely busy with cases which they find difficult to cope with demand, no wonder why when they allow the mother to abuse the kids and the Fathers to suit their own needs and demands.
I have so much respect for the Mothers that actually fight their ex's for the kids to see them, shame all women aren't the same!
I can't take any further abuse and would prefer not to know about any further reports of the girls being abused, or have any threats to arrest me over her attacking the girls, never having to speak to her or hear from her ever again would be a bonus, but also to stop paying for them, to be fee from all of this nightmare just so I have a chance to move on in my life, and maybe a last real chance to be a Father by meeting a woman that puts others first.
I can't live my life this way no more, it has destroyed the few relationships I've had since all this happened, my girls are my life so I feel can't move on, but I need to move on as I feel it is now the time to start putting me first, but I don't know how to.
hi new dad,
it is really up to you. it all depends on how much your children mean to you. if it meant that i become peniless in the process to see my kids, so be it. I can just rebuild my life one way or another. i understand at times you may feel like your having to pay a ransom to see your kids. its a nasty feeling. is there no way at all for you to pay a barrister to represent you in court? i heard some people can find one for £600-700 for the day.
Bill337, My girls mean the world to me but it doesn't mean my wallet deserves to be raped by the system or my ex!
I will do everything possible to see my girls as I have shown for the past 3 years with failure.
The system is corrupt and biased and I will tell the judges accordingly.
You seem to be the abused in allowing the system to tell you how to live and be a father, but I won't allow that to happen to me.
No disrespect to you, but I can't allow this abuse on me, as I would never allow it on my kids, if your kids grew up to suffer the same abuse as you, would you accept it?
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