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Hi good afternoon, my wife and I are divorced, she moved back to her parents with out telling me, I lost job, lost my house, lost my health, ended up homeless and signed off ESA, I now have a 1 bed flat, have two older children from previous marriage, do not see my youngest son often, when I do its restricted to short time, I'm not allowed to take him out, he isn't allowed to come to mine, iv been diagnosed with epilepsy which she is using against me, I pay her 180£ a month, even though I only get 72£ a week ESA + housing benefit, and 70£ a week from part time job, we had a loan in her name, which she still wants me to pay half too, and I cant, and tells me, I walked out on rights when I left her, she was emotionally and physically violent and abusive to me, and I don't know where is stand
Hey Nat and welcome to the forum 🙂
Really sorry to hear about your situation there is many dads going through the same sort of think it is unfortunately very common so don't feel like you're alone, Us dads don't really have any rights in family law but the law states that every child has the right to both parents in their lives and if you apply to the courts for a defined contact order you will more than likely get it.
You can easily self represent at court and i thin you can get the application fee at a reduced rate as you are on benefits ect but I'm sure someone else will be able to help and give you advice on this site for that.
Before you make an application you have to try mediation and again I think they may be help with regards to that but again I'm sure someone can advise better.
It may be worth writting to your ex and request better contact with your child and if that fails then ask her to attend mediation, at least you are seeing your child so thats a start at least ypu have something to build on I can assure you you will be a substantial part of your childs life so try not to worry and your ex is talking rubbish about you have lost all your rights.
keep your chin up
Slim 🙂
Hi Nat welcome along 🙂
Slim given you great advice, as he says before you go through court process you need to try mediation, you wont have to pay for it as your on benefits, you need to download a copy of C100 form or get one from local court, check who does mediation in your area and make appointment, if ex refuses to go to mediation the mediator will sign your C100 saying so, then your off to court for a contact order, you wont have to pay any court fees as your on benefits, the process takes an age, you will have ups and lots of downs but don't give up, were all on here to help you, about your epilepsy, that gets me angry, if your not a member already, join Epilepsy Association, some great advice there on parenting and epilepsy, one good bit of advice I got here was, when your talking about your ex to professionals or in your court papers, never knock as say anything bad about her, all there interested in is the children, good luck and remember were all here to help each other 🙂
Great advice there from greyling mate it is a lot more straight forward than it seems most dads who represent themselves get better results than if they did have a solicitor and like I said you will be able to get all the help and support off here 🙂
...if mediation doesn't work then court would be your next step and as you are on benefits you will be entitled to an exemption from the court fee, which is usually £215. You will need form EX160a to claim this.
Good luck.
It might be worth checking your maintenance liability with CMS as well, as you're on benefits, you might be overpaying.
Thanking you, so kindly for all the help and advice guys, wish I'd of joined this months ago
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