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Hi
I have recently separated from my wife..
From September - December 2017 we both attended numerous sessions with a councillor from RELATE, who then recommended a trial separation, which started in January 2018.
We have a 2 and half year old daughter and my wife recently moved out of our shared 1 bed flat in London into a small 2 bed flat very nearby, taking our daughter to live there with her as her main home which I'm not happy about.
I currently see my daughter 8.30am - 4pm on a Monday and 8.30am - 4pm on a Saturday, which I feel is too little time
for us to be together properly and for us to bond, as she does not stay over with me due to my wife insisting she needs to breast-feed her..
To be honest I never expected this sad outcome as I have been very ill myself over the last few years but feel I need to know what my rights as a father but more importantly to be there as a dad to support my little girl as she grows up?
My wife has owned her own flat for the past 11 years (now Mortgage free) and also currently rents it out.
I have had my own very low cost (social housing) 1 bed flat for a similar amount of time, with my wife moving in with me just before she became pregnant in 2015.
We have always kept our own finances during our relationship and consequent marriage and have not even begun to think about our financial arrangements if we were to divorce.
I guess I need to ask these husband/father rights after divorce questions later as I have no idea about what to do, but I'm more concerned about the future happiness of my little daughter and the guilt I feel about not being there for her as a father!
Can anyone please give some helpful advice..
Many Thanks
You need to decide between you if you are going to get divorced, or get back together as at the moment you are a bit in limbo, though it sounds like your wife has made that decision. The first thing might be to read this - https://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation - I think that's a good starting point. Ideally you need to come to an arrangement between you if possible, rather than having to go to court because you can't.
Hi there
Breaking up is a very stressful time for all involved and you are bound to hav worries about what the future holds.
With the financial side of things it might be helpful to get some legal advice about what you are both entitled to. There's some good downloads that I'll find the link to and post later.
As far as your child is concerned, it's better to try and get some agreement worked out between you. One way of doing that is to attend mediation to try and sort out any issues you have.
Whilst I understand that your daughter might still be being breastfed, at two and a half I'm assuming she will be fully weaned and eating a normal solid diet.... the breastfeeding is more of a comfort thing than a necessity, as it is when they are young babies and not weaned onto food.
At your daughters age, any toddlers are ready to spend overnights when there has been a separation, so I wouldn't give up hope of that happening. If mediation doesn't work, you can apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order to ask the court to decide that your child can spend weekends with you.
All the best
Thanks very much and I will look at the link you've suggested 🙂
I really appreciate this - thanks very much!
Thanks!
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