Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hello
My ex is trying to change what we verbaly had in agreement and had been working till now.
We split up about 4- 5 years ago when she had an affair and then left without the kids to Australia, she changed her mind and came back 3 month in to it. At this stage I made sure she had contact with the kids and had them when she returned as they need us both.
They were living with me and going to the school they started at till last christmas when the school here closed, also she moved further away. It was verbally agreed by me that she could have them in the school near her and have them during the week and I would have them weekends Fri night to Mon am.
This has been fine but she is now after changing this.
Q - does she have the right to ?
I had been claiming for the eldest childs child benefit and she had claimed the other one.
She is now sent a request in for the Child benefit for both children
Q where do I stand on this and what should I do ? If she gets it which I guess as they are with her in the week she will. What happens then? Do I loose the Parental rights to them and also have to pay CSA to her?
Thank you
jet
Hi Jet
Unfortunately, verbal agreements don't carry any weight and can be ingnored at any point. Agreements that are backed up by a court order are the only way to have something that is legally binding.
If she is looking to reduce your weekends, your first step would be to attend mediation to try and get some agreement, but if that failed the only other option would be to make an application to court for a Child Arrangements Order for contact. As your children have had this schedule in place for a long time, the court might uphold it, but generally weekends are shared between parents to allow both to have quality time with the children, so there is a possibility that they may order alternate weekends and a weekly midweek visit. You could however push for a 50/50 share of all school holidays and shared alternate christmas and birthdays.
As your ex has them for four nights a week she is considered as the primary carer and is entitled to all of the benefits, such as child benefit, tax credits and maintenance.
You would be entitled to a reduction of the maintenance for each overnight the children spend with you and if you pay into a pension that would also be taken into account.
If you are named on the birth certificates you have parental responsibility, but this doesn't give you any rights as such.... By allowing the children to go and live with her, you effectively gave up your right to control of their day to day lives. I'm sorry to be the bearer of this news, I'm sure it wasn't what you were hoping for.
Here's a link to the the CMS calculator, once she has the benefits, claiming maintenance is probably her next step, so it a good idea to find out what this means for you financially.
www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
All the best
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.