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Hi everyone. I do apologise if this is on a different thread. I searched but couldn't find anything
Me and my ex split up around 3 years ago. We have not used childcare maintenance or the courts as have reached amicable arrangements
Up until recently, I have had my girls every other fortnight, that is until I have moved in with my new partner.
All of a sudden, my ex is blocking me from seeing my kids or having them stay with me. This is because I won't give her my address.
She is aware that I've been with my new partner for nearly two years, and is also aware that she has been around the girls. Plus, it's never been an issue about having my new address up until now.
I'd usually not really be fussed, but I'm concerned about giving her my address for a few reasons
My ex has a tendency to be quite aggressive and threatening towards me, particularly when under the influence. She has previously threatened to "send someone round" when we had an argument by text a couple of years ago when I was living on my own.
In addition, she has very aggressive brothers, one who has been convicted several times for violent offences, so I wouldn't feel safe about him getting hold of my address.
Lastly, my new partner suffers from anxiety and it would damage her mental health knowing that other people know our address
I have tried to find a solution. My mum has my address, so she can contact her in case. Though I'm not exactly sure what knowing my address would do to help in case of emergency. She knows the town where I live, so I'm not being completely off grid with her
I feel she's just being difficult as she can't seem to accept the fact that I've moved on.
Not entirely sure what options I have, any advice would be much appreciated
Hi there
It's a common problem to be honest and generally, there shouldn't be a problem sharing addresses, it's quite understandable that the mother would want to know where the children are when they are away, but because of what happened in the past, I can understand your reluctance.
Your first option would be to try mediation to get this sorted out, the childrens routine has been severely disrupted and they will be missing you and the mother should take this on board. Perhaps you could suggest that you see the kids during the day, but not have them sleep over, just while you try and find a solution.
I would be truthful with the mother about your fears during mediation, actions have consequences and you are in a difficult situation because of your partners anxiety, try and get her to understand that in mediation.
Mediation is the first official step and must be attempted before a court application can be made, hopefully you can get this sorted out without having to escalate it to court, but if mediation fails you can use form C100 to apply for a Child Arrangements Order for contact to resume. I believe there's a section on the form where you can ask for your address not to be revealed to the other party.
You can instruct a solicitor to represent you in court, which can cost thousands, or you can represent yourself, many forum users decide to go it alone with much success. Submitting the form costs £215, unless the applicant is on benefits or a low income, in which case the court will grant an exemption from the fee.
There's lots of information about the process in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section and if you would like me to. Move your thread into that section I can do that, just ask.
All the best
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