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[Solved] Paying CSA But Name Isnt On Birth Cert

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(@Lee12)
Active Member Registered

Hi I was just wondering if anyone could help me out with some advise or if anyone has been in this situation before.

I have a little boy with my ex partner he is now 3months old, I am currently paying CSA but she is not letting me see him and my name is not on the birth cert.

I have rang CSA and explained that I am not on the birth cert and there responds was you have to pay in till proven otherwise.

Really I want to take her to court and do a DNA test and get my name on the birth cert so I can then gain access to my son on a regular basic.

But I have been told going through the courts is a long and expensive way of doing it as I had a friend in a similar situation and he ended up paying over 8k.

Just wondering if anyone had any suggestions or advise it would be really appreciated.

I am based in Bristol also

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 02/08/2016 1:56 pm
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

Hi There,
.
Going through court can be expensive, but it actually doesn't need to be, I went through court and it cost me a total of £215 for the application, though on top of that were mediation costs.
.
You would firstly need to try and attend mediation, this would be both you and your ex, this is now required before you can apply to court as the judges want you to have at least tried to work out your differences before they will look at the case, if you can't work things out in mediation, or your ex won't attend then the mediator will sign your C100 for (application to court) so that you can submit it.
.
You can represent yourself through court so won't need solicitor which is how I and many other members have done this, it seems scary but isn't as bad as you would think and you would be more than capable.
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Have a look in our legal section on this forum as there are some guides to self representing in court.
.
GTTS

ReplyQuote
Posted : 02/08/2016 2:02 pm
Lee12 and Lee12 reacted
(@Lee12)
Active Member Registered

Thank you for your reply

I never thought about representing my self as you said it will cut the cost down.

I will have a look on the legal form.

Thanks Again

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 02/08/2016 2:21 pm
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

Hi Again,
.
Representing yourself through court not only keeps the cost down but the judge hears you talk and picks up the emotions in your voice, if you use a solicitor the only voice they would hear would be thiers and it's not one that has any emotional attachment to the case.
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Good solicitors actually recomend you represent yourself as they don't need to be present.
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I have heard of cases becoming more involved and taking longer becuase solicitors are used, Solicitors are only really needed if you have a complex case such as a claim of domestic violence or abuse, other wise with simlper cases going alone is a better option.
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We can help guide you through the proccess with advice and support so any questions just ask, we have some very knowledgeable members that know family law very well.
.
GTTS

ReplyQuote
Posted : 02/08/2016 3:26 pm
Lee12 and Lee12 reacted
(@Lee12)
Active Member Registered

thank you for that information

I just want to get the ball rolling now just struggling on how to do so.

Don't really no where i have to go and who i have to talk to about getting the courts involved

Thanks

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 02/08/2016 3:40 pm
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

Hi There,
.
As said you firstly need to try and get your ex to attend mediation, unless you have tried this the courts won't hear your case have a look at this link with details about mediation and where to find someone near you, if you set up an initial appointment, they will contact your ex and invite her.
.
http://www.nfm.org.uk/
.
GTTS

ReplyQuote
Posted : 02/08/2016 4:49 pm
(@Lee12)
Active Member Registered

Thanks for the advise I really appreciate it

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 02/08/2016 5:46 pm
(@AdamsDad)
Estimable Member Registered

Some great advise given by GTTS there.

I nearly spilled my coffee when Lee12 said it cost your friend 8k. I guess it all depends on the type of case and allegations against him.

Many like myself have Self represented and all it cost was few sessions at mediation and then had to fill in the c100 form and submit with a payment of £215 and off we went to court!

It isnt as easy as I make it sound but I like many of the fathers on here would have spent the hours of time reading and learning about how the family law side works and compiling position statements, etc. It takes time but it is all doable if your willing to put the time IN! If you do not want to do the leg raise and have money to burn then you can opt for solicitor or barrister 😀

Many great people on here to help with your journey.

Good luck!

ReplyQuote
Posted : 02/08/2016 6:10 pm
(@Lee12)
Active Member Registered

Yea when my friend told me it was around the 8k i was shocked and disgusted more then anything as it tales that much to get to see your son/daughter because the mother is spiteful and thinks acceptable because they have more rights and can stop you seeing your children when ever they choose.

Yea it does sound easy but im guessing it might be a tricky ride, but im willing to take it aslong as i can see my son

Thanks

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 02/08/2016 6:22 pm
(@AdamsDad)
Estimable Member Registered

get cracking Lee12!

Do you think you going down the court route she might pull out some false allegations? such as DV/ drug abuse etc? Allegations can slow down the process.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 02/08/2016 6:48 pm
(@Lee12)
Active Member Registered

No I don't think she would pull that card.

I do have evidence of her stopping me from seeing him and giving me abuse as well, Calling me all the names under the sun.

So i think it might help me in that way

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 03/08/2016 10:56 am
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

Hi There,
.
Family court cases can run up huge bills when there have been issues as it can take mulptiple court dates if you are using a solicitor it all mounts up very quickly.
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If she has been abusive in the past and you have proof in either email or txt of this and also her stopping contact, ensure like you have you keep them all, write them out including your replies even if you weren't as polite as you should have been as this will show you are being open and honest.
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Ensure that you play everything by the book, if she says stop contacting her, then stop, as it's very easy for her to claim harrasment with the police and this gets done a lot.
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As you are thinking you will end up in court, start keeping notes of everything, every conversation, txt and email between the 2 of you ready in case you need to use it as evidence, and play everything by the book, there are no short cuts and it's better to move slowly forward teh right way rather than try and gain quickly and then have to go backwards. If you do everything by the book, then when any order is made, it should stick.
.
GTTS

ReplyQuote
Posted : 03/08/2016 11:37 am
Lee12 and Lee12 reacted
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