[Solved] Partner doesn't like my child

hello I've litrally just decided to reduce it no holidays have happend yet so hasnt been less yet we argue if we talk about her it's one of them tense situations shes pregnant and since she has been more snappy about her and angry but it's never been simple with my child my ex from the moment we got together caused [censored] called social kicked off constantly to the point our current daughter was investigated so my partner has alot of resentment towards all of it. I get a phone call on Saturday then get her every other weekend it's a crappy situation the more days I've had it gets rather tense and shitty in the house and noone ends up happy which is why I thought less is better means I can spend time together while reducing the kick offs. it's pretty shitty it's been 8 years of [censored] from the ex tbh and my partner has alot of resentment so I'm just trying to hold it all together because if we break up then our children will be in the same boat aswell thanks for the reply also my ex partner is really friendly with everyone my family ect and I dont see them havnt in 5 years and shes a busy body [censored] who reports you if you dont do what she says so my partner basically wants our own life we live in a little villege 10 miles away so its peaceful when my ex isnt involved but I qont stop seeing my daughter she comes now Saturday morning goes home sunday evening

My partner of 3 years has two lads, both out of school now but both still at home and no sign of them moving out....we don't live together but occasionally she starts on about us living together...I tend to say that yes we should but when they move out (lol)....to which she replies "we come as a package...take it or leave it" ....I usually find a way to dodge the fallout....

but it is a good point she makes there......you and your child come as a package, yes your ex is a nightmare but that should not detract from your time with your child....

a partner really should accept that kids should come first (in my opinion)

thanks for the reply. it always hasn't been [censored] at the start she really was alright everything flowed then the ex kept having ago if my partner did anything it would be your not her mum you cant do that then I would be reported and they would kick off constantly. the final nail in the coffin was us having our own baby and my ex stiring stuff to the point ss got involved and we had our child temp removed from us. my daughter got used as a pawn against us she was only 4 but told the ss loadsnof stuff which in future was proven to be made up. but then contact stopped with my 4yo for 2 years so there was a big gap I started seeing her when she was 6bagain so it's all been a mess so my partner always says she feels uncountable now and doesnt like ot and because were having another baby is worried about having her taking away its never been simple

i see. hope things can steadily hold for you. i will probably be in some weird situation like this soon. trying to get married. for now i can anticipate the ex trying to dump my kids on me as much as possible, in order to make things difficult for us. at the moment shes opposite and my kids keep asking for more time with me.

it's a very awkward horrible situation at the moment just want baby out of my partner so shes not I'll and stressed anymore and then deal as it comes luckily my eldest is 8 so soon have a phone and means less Involvement with ex ect. I keep telling myself something is better then not ever seeing her but it's not ideal. I just feel so guilty all the time like am I doing enough and I'm wrong but I dono it's horrible

another weekend passed another awkward visit daughter came with a flem cough this time always comes with some sort of infection or grubby so I did my normal routine clean change her clothes from mums and my partner was awkward again. shes been alot worse since pregnant shes been sick throughout and feels like [censored] but even she admitted when she was calm she goes over the top with my child and if I men4ion her name she gets angry well back to it another visit another awkward she barely said 2 words to her but tbh my child goes with everyone so she never picks up on it. my partner went to her sisters most of the weekend she said irs either that or she just sits there not liking it feeling awkward. so yeah come today got letter partner been pushing csa more and has I creased it all my partner said we cant afford my daughters saving each week as we dont get enough money so that upset me but is she right? my x gets all the money for her and when she comes we pay and I pay csa w3 have savings for our child but its out of ou3 money we get for her that's what she says but 4he amount of guilt I always feel is unreal I really try to treat them equal but it's so hard when they have differnt lives but is my partner right

also my x is kicking off alot lately basically I've asked for more days for ages she originally said yes but wait for awhile so 6 months later she finally said take me to court if you want more so I gave up accepted it the other week I messaged saying I had to reduce it abit due to my job being [censored] I use to be flexible not it's fixed hours so if I got her my partner would be watching her and I dont do that as I do full care of her as shes my kid and in the past my x has constantly moaned about it so anyway I say this and she replys kicking off saying what you dont want her now and blah blah blah. and she never said it wouldnt increase. load of bs so yeah basically when I begged for more she fucked about and when I said less it's like shes shocked that I'm not begging. I got a sarcastic message back saying your partner can have her you need to work more as I need more csa random [censored]. me and my partner both work but part time as anymore hours fucks us were worse off but I think all this adds to why my partner hates it all

litrally just got bck to my partner and she wrote me a massive letter basically saying she wants it sepeate ect and if anything happens to the baby because of my daughter going back reporting us or any infections ect she would never forgive me. I'm so [censored] confused on what to feel or do anymore

hmm, what else is there to try. does your partner have a place of her own, separate accomodation? can she stay with her family for a bit, until after babies born?

she has a sister but nearer the time of the baby its gonna swap to just me seeing my daughter alone for abit then was the original plan to go back to normal but I'm dreading the break mainly because my partner proberly will say she doesnt want her back. it's just so [censored]

I'm sorry to hear things are difficult right now mate. I think what's key for you, is that this storm will pass.

Right now it feels like you are at the mercy of everyone else's wishes and feelings, possibly neglecting your own.

Sometimes in these situations it helps to go back to basics. Take a deep breath, tell your partner you understand her point of view, really listen and reassure her. At the same time, don't forget that your daughter is your daughter, like dad-I-d said, you come as a package. Your daughter should also benefit from knowing and being happy about her soon to be born sibling.

Try simple things. Write a little card saying "you're beautiful and I love you", then leave it somewhere where your partner will find it.

Think of something nice your partner has done and thank her for it. It can be anything, not least, the obvious, she is carrying your baby, tell her thank you for carrying OUR baby.

And most important, work on yourself and becoming a better man. That is ultimately the best use of your time.

Storms come and go. This one too will pass.

had another argument shes had enough she wants me to see her no overnight ect sepeate so I'd see her sunday that's it and maybe come back here do whatever but thats all she doesnt want anymore I don't no what to do anymore she said it reduces the [censored] my ex can do and my daughter wont go back and stir [censored] if it's that minimal. she said Sunday only as satuedsy our daughter has swimming lesson so pointless getting her at 12 and dropping her back at 6 as mum lives 12 miles away and we wouldnt have the fuel. what do I do honestly