[Solved] Partner doesn't like my child

worth a shot. I guess some people are natural step parents some arnt. she started off really well with my daughter when we got together but it's over times with my ex and all the [censored] she does she just cant cope with it all anymore

... short term compromises are fine, we all understand that your ex’s situation is a priority at the moment, but I do think that you should make her aware that your relationship with your daughter is ring fenced and non negotiable in the long term... she is the adult, as such it’s her responsibility to deal with being uncomfortable about it.

If it’s just during pregnancy, fine. If it’s an attempt to start alienating you from your child it’s absolutely not fine. That’s just my opinion. All your children need you.

All the best

no I do agree with what your saying it's such a shitty one main issue is my ex is so toxic everything has to be fixed like fixed phone call fixed times ect when I have friends who's exes are more relaxed as in ring when like go online with child ect. another slight issue today plodding along partner bck at work now but one day might be Saturdays which is when I have my daughter and she has an issue with me being home with both kids and a baby shes worried about my child going back and stiring [censored] she keeps saying g her main aim is to keep the baby and not lose it like before and she said all it takes is my eldest to to back and say something normal and my ex be spiteful and stir [censored]. it's never ending she said I have 2 kids full time at home ect and they should be priority it's a [censored] annoying shot situation

It’s really tough for you and I absolutely get that... I think I mentioned counselling before, might this be something that you could push for?

If she wants you to make a compromise, she needs to understand it’s a two way street and she also needs to compromise and agree to some counselling to try and get over the past.

Best of luck

councilimg is a no go she wouldnt she just says my daughter comes for me that's all shes my child ect and that's all she doesnt kick off ect because I want her but shes not happy or comfortable so I dont no what to do really someone said just get through keep the peace and as my daughter gets older itll be easier as I can ring text her ect but its just a horrible situation. like when she comes do I just spend time with her and keep her with me most of the time so my partner doesnt have to deal with it what would you do? I think its never going to improve if sntrjing might go worse due to baby coming.

do you think separating everything would be better as in I see her every other weekend but she doesnt come near my partner or daughter then its solely on me and my child and our time and theres no hostility. I no that's what my partner wants but wont force me but it's getting pretty bad. would you do that?

hi,

if your relationship with your partner means alot to you, then i think you should look at all possible means. i don't have a new partner but lately i been spending whole saturday with my kids, places like chessington, paultons etc. you could do the same. i really enjoyed it. kids wanted to stay out late as possible, and that was possible as there was no mother around to cry and complain 🙂 you can try that out with just you and your kids. see how your partner finds it.

hi thanks for your reply. I think she wants it all sepeate she said she doesnt need to see my child she comes to see me so why cant I see her with just me on weekends take her out then just drop her to moms ect instead of staying at ours because of all the stuff that's happend between my ex and child she just cant deal with it anymore this is why I find it so hard what to do. I've been with my partner 1 year less tjen my 8 year old. I just dont no what to decide could I parent better being just me and my daughter or do I keep having her here for my partner to be awkward and uncomfortable. shes already said she wont tell.me to do anything as I'll be sad but shes dreading her being around the baby and thinks it wont get any easier. if you dont no I have the x from [censored] who contributed to us losing our daughter them we got her back so my partner hates it all

also she doesnt like them all knowing our business that adds to it and my daughter goes back and tells everyone including all my family who I havnt spoke to in 6 years there all friendly with the ex so it's a massive not simple tricky pile of [censored] lol

also I get extra days thro holidays like 6 weeks holiday I get 5 days in a row evry 2 weeks and my partner says we cant afford it ect and we both work so basically she cares for my daughter so we spoke and she said can I just do every other weekend then when she comes I can plan a solid day of me and her trips ect and we can afford it and it's always weekend. she said by time my daughter goes on extra days everyone's under escjoyhers feet and even my daughters bored as she misses her friend ect I agreed solely because I want something rather tjen nothing am I right mojo

sorry to go on I know it's not a major matter just got noone else to talk to. I reduced all my extra days on holidays to just my normal every other weekend which hopefully will make it easier my partner has admitted at the moment everything about her is annoying her and said its because pregnant ect and shes majorly.stressed ect and she just snaps at everything to do with my ex or daughter. so I reduced holidays ect to keep it easier just every other weekend tbh the extra days by the end 3veryones just ratty as my childs mates are all at hers and we run out of things to do and money so she gets pretty bored so I'm hoping less is more so the days I get her I can do more with her. do you think I've made the wrong choice

hi,

with your decisions, is your partner happy or still complaining?
if you only see your child every other weekend now, then that is very reduced and your being reasonable in making adjustments. only difference with me is i have few hours mid week contact every other weekend. if i took that out i think i would find it horrible, longer gaps without seeking kids.