[Solved] Partner doesn't like my child

definatly life would be perfect if my ex would just disappear i won't leave my daughter and my partner knows that. but I think that means I have to accept there's never going to be any real bound between them as to much happend. she has tried loads of times but my ex is just a jealous horrid cow. you get the picture by the sounds of it. so it's basically trying to please everyone while keep everyone loved untill she's older. she notices alot she knows she can't see me more due to her mother and always asks me stuff. I don't even have to explain she witnesses alot of her mum saying no. it's just all been a mess from the start and to be fair it a the most stable right now it's been which is saying alot. I can only dream of the day she's older and my ex gets deleted from my life. but till then I got a court order which makes me at ease to a degree as she always use to stop then start it. and my daughter is alot older and does realise things and even her school noticed she got really bad when it got stopped.. hopefully I can just work on things and not push it as much and hopefully my partner eases into it. I'll give more and hopefully she will realise.

big congrats on having your child it makes me feel so proud of anyone who manages to get through this [censored] and even more when a dad does we already get looked apon as lower so big well done mate really pleased for you

It's been 9years of [censored] for me. Police involvement, me being arrested, having to leave the house at all hours cos the ex was threatening suicide or telling me to pick our daughter up. Imagine getting 20texts at 2in the morning and waking your wife up saying I have to go, this went on for years. My wife was supportive and said do what you gotta do. I was the one who wanted it to stop hence I was going to walk away from my daughter.

I get the picture I feel sorry for you and your daughter. Hopefully in time your partner will grow to love your daughter like her own. My wifes nature is loving she treats everyone like family.. To my annoyance at times
lol.
Can't you find a way to build their relationship like team building? Like go swimming and u stick with your other daughter so your partner has to keep your daughter safe? Or would your partner say she's your daughter u look after her?
Most women have natural maternal thing with kids regardless of if is their own, is your partner like that? If so play on that? Gotta be clever with women lol

Does your daughter like your partner? Get her drawing her love hearts and things maybe? Try things you think a strange it might work in softening your partner.
Word your daughter up and if out shopping get her to say ti want you to buy that for *your partners name*.
See it like your daughter is you , you want woo your partner. I dunno just try anything

Is there any chance of your partner and your daughter doing something together for a weekend - spa weekend or something like that? And you don't have to disguise it to them - tell them both it's a chance to get to know each other better without you there? Might just work.

Is there any chance of your partner and your daughter doing something together for a weekend - spa weekend or something like that? And you don't have to disguise it to them - tell them both it's a chance to get to know each other better without you there? Might just work.

That's how a bloke would do it, she'll be hearing... ey love you don't like ar kid so I want you to go on a girly weekend with her and become a nice person to her a proper step mummy not a jealous moo cos I think your bang out of order so i want to send you on a nightmare weekend with my little princess who I adore the princess who steals a few hours a week of your time, time that's yours cos you are the queen and my little princess is undeserving of my time so you want her banished (cos that's what it's basically saying and she's hearing) What's she going to do going off what the original poster has described of his partner? She'll roll her eyes give him the stare while doing that lip thing then Holy [censored].
Or she'll smile a fake smile while fantasising on going and doing a hansel and gretl but without the hansel. And she'll still give him holy [censored] once she's finished her fantasy.

In ideal world this wouldn't be happening but this is the reality of it and I feel truly for the poster and his daughter.

hello sorry I didnt see you replied situation isnt any better with them my partner isnt obviously nasty but she said she doesnt like her feels uncomfortable when shes in the house and basically doesnt like it says she only comes for me ect so no better atall. recently found out were having a baby and she said to stagger the dates so my ex csnt get involved and we can have a few weeks without my ex getting involved ect when shes born it's all a massive mess tbh but hey ho

another weekend another argument.

eldest Came then all going alright day later I mentioned something that involved her in the future think that I want a tv in room so they can all play xbox partner got angry saying it feels like nothing can be ours ect ect and it feels like it doesnt sepeate ect argued got dropped till today. we went out and my partner said she doesnt no how we can afford to have my eldest extra days in holidays as I normally get her every other but holidays get extra 3 days per 2 weeks give or take. basically were skint atm shes not working and I work part time any extra my ex claims loads more off us so sorta stuck between being skint to ok at times. what do I do. give up extra days so basically have every other weekend to keep the peace or just force it and then its awkward as [censored] here it gets tense and when we have no money my partner keeps getting annoyed as the ex claims off 2 x part ers for csa and gets tattos drinks the works while not working so there's even more resentment. it's such a had situation my current partner doesnt like her blatantly says it which gets my back up but so use to it. she has alot of hate because we lost our current baby due to nhs neglect but my previous child had an abe interview and said loads of [censored] her mum told her to she was 4 at the time. and my ex constantly got involved made it [censored]. we proved we were innocent got her back at 9 months and I didnt see my child for 2 years untill I took her to court to get her back every other weekend. previous to our baby being taken the 4 years with my ex she constantly caused as much ahit as possible so my partner has beyond hatred to the point when my child is here she has already said she doesnt like it and constantly picks up on stuff because she feels trapped as it's like a visitor is there.

my current partner basically wants a world where its us and our kids no exes no other kids ect my eldest is more mad then my current one were more calm where my ex is just very trashy and let's them do what they want but she puts up with it having her ect due to me. but what should I do just accept she doesnt like her and just take my kid 9ut when shes here and accept it's for me. or what I am so conflicted I hate it so much thing is I can see all points to a degree as with my eldest child I'm still trying to bond as she left me at 4 came back 6 massive jump differnt person. it's all so fucked. also point out I have no family there all best friends wi4h my ex so even shitter

it does sound like a big mess. Perhaps think about some counselling as I guess things will only continue on this path if you don't take some sort of action.

shes pretty decided she just doesnt like her she wouldnt do counclin she knows shes not a bad kid said it before but just says it's allthe stuff that's happend I no it wont get better we had a chat and she said she will try as long as I sepeate things like our homelife eg our childs friends kept to her friends. we live 15miles from my ex so my partner basically wants out own life no mixing ect and I spend time with her not force her to so I agreed just to see if it would Improve but it's been a week and i got shotty again because theres a fete on the weekend all my daughters friends are there parents ect and she said why dont I go out with my child I got defensive and automatically said I wanted her there blah blah blah then had a argument said about breaking up the normal it's so hard not to get defensive on every little thing anymore she said it's not even been a week and we3e arguing even when shes not here it's all a massive pain in the [censored] I'm going to probeely have to go out more with my child and my other one and not automatically push my partner to come I reckon or spend alone time with my other child. what's your option

basically my daughter comes for me my partner said she wouldnt ever see eye to eye and when shes here she feels she cant even sit down in her own house ect so it's all pretty annoying but its her problem I know that but either u break up and have a newborn baby with a sepeate family and my child having sepeate or you try to make the best

almost every single parent out there will agree that their children come first, and their partner will have to accept that. when you split with your ex, you were supposed to move on. but it seems there has been no change. in my situation, I would never settle down with a partner who does not accept being around my children. if they don't like it, they know where the door is.

cheers for the reply I agree weve been together almost 8 years now tho and its developed like this over time mainly through the [censored] my ex causes and still causes so the whole situation has slowly built up to thos thats why I find it hard

i guess all you can really do then, is spend time with your children alone, and give your partner some space, as you have been doing. taking your partner on weekend breaks, or a weeks holiday should improve the situation.