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Divorce getting going... getting a bit ugly. Wife determined to "fight" she says......
Wife has made minimal effort over the years. It's like I've been a one parent family. Little help in home, educating the kids, refused to get a proper job and help fill financial gaps. Weekend activities, parent evenings, help with homework, taking to/from school etc etc, all me. Wife's socialising takes priority over family and household. She spends more hours at friends than at home (apart from when sleeping) I kept a diary for a about a year as an aid-memoire in case it ever came to this.
My goal is to be reasonable but I need a plan to try to achieve my goal to be designated as Parent With Care (PWC)
Any advice for what I need to do/plan greatly appreciated.
As a man I feel that the system is heavily weighted against me and my objective
Solicitor just seems intent on getting agreement at any cost.
Kids at cross roads in their early teenage lives. If I am not PWC I fear for their future, particularly education-wise (only way I can encapsulate in a sentence)
Anybody out there been there, done it and got the T-Shirt?
Hi, are you asking to be the parent with residency or have shared care? Are you dealing through solicitors or going down Mediation route?
Due to the childrens ages I would assume their wishes will be taken into account in a court application.....
I have Solicitor
Can't agree with wife over PWC/Residency so need to go to mediation as next step
If mediation not successful, application to Court is thereafter (Β£ a lot I suppose)
Mediation service offers a 'Childrens Voice' service which sounds like a good idea
Kids influenced by wife's extended family, plus she has allowed them to access her copies of divorce paperwork to influence them.
Difficult situation. Their views may be prejudiced.
I have been parent that has given them grief over homework, read instead of watch TV too much, keeping rooms tidy, amount of time spent on game stations, tidy up after themselves etc etc. Wife lets them do what they like and most weeks(at least 5 out of 7 days) she is out socialising/friends houses until late at night (sounds like a boyfriend to me!)
My objective is to be parent with residency.
You might find Mediation works, it does for a lot of people. The Children's Voice service could be a great tool here too.
Allowing them access to copies of divorce paperwork isn't fair, they should be shielded from these issues during a time that can't be easy on them.
If Mediation fails then an application to court will be your only choice, it can make things harder though. It doesn't have to be too expensive, lots of Dads on here self rep & there's always the option of using a McKenzie Friend for the hearings. Have a read through the stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section, they're very helpful as are the members on here, they can talk you through most things.
Wishing all the best for you and your children. π
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