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:boohoo:
This isn't a complaint, more of a worry....
I split from my ex partner in 2009. While deciding what to do as she asked me to leave the relationship, I had the choice of returning to the UK or stay in Germany where we had been married and had two boys together. After deciding to go back to the UK, I asked my father if I could live with him till I got settled back in the UK.
My ex said at the time we would allways keep in touch with each other through phone, internet , letters and all other types of media and visits. So I packed my clothing and a few momentos into the car and returned to the UK. Afterwards took the car back to my ex and said my goodbyes. We had bought and refurnished a flat in Germany together with the financial help of her parents, renovated and bought upto scratcth. So all in all, I had left my ex with everything except my clothing, furnishings car trailor for car and of course the flat. After being in the UK for a while she stopped everything with contact to the children, I didn't hear a word from them, no messages, no letters, no pictures, and no response to anything I have sent. The most recent being Easter eggs that I sent this year. Every year I send cards Easter Eggs and so forth and hear nothing. I`m not even sure that my children receive them.I have been furious and have tried to contact them through Facebook and said I would travel to Germany and asked if I could see the children, quess what, no response so the trip to Germany over a long weekend was a waste.
I now owe the maintenance of nearly 30000 euros and can not afford to pay, not that I want to if I`m refused any type of contact.I currently live with a new partner and support her 3 children and pay my bills here, and struggle as it is to keep my head above water, like everyone the bills are hard enough to pay. Without having a 30000 euro debt aswell. Now I have been invited to the court to pay, and to be quite honest I see no good of my situation and don't want to drag my new family into ruin....
Basically I`m lost and wanted to seek some advice help or maybe just air my views. Its hard enough with the pain of being forced to not see ones kids and now as added bonus I see myself being forced out of my current home and losing my current job, if I carry on.I feel I will never get on a green road. The road of seeing my kids and the road of being able to support my current family.
Thanks for an open ear, I hope all you other separated fathers have more luck than me
Chris2462
Hi Chris
I'm afraid it's not as simple as not wanting to pay, you have a court order to pay the arrears and there are penalties if you don't start doing so.
The situation with regard to contact and maintenance are two entirely separate issues and one is not governed or influenced by the other. Whether you are in contact with your children or not, you still have a responsibility to provide for them.
I'm sorry you find yourself in such a difficult situation but there's no easy way out of this, did you attend court to fight your corner, although the CMS don't take a paying parents outgoings into account, the court can do so, I think that you could apply to the court to vary the order, although I would urge you to,get more advice about this.
Regarding the situation with your estranged children, it might be useful for you to call Reunite, although they are known for their experience in international abduction, they can also advise parents that are having difficulties because their children live in another country.
www.reunite.org
Best of luck
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