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A few days ago a poster suggested mediation as a possible route. I replied that I wasn't even aware that it was on the table. Although I have heard of it I don't really know where it fits in.
The thing is I know very little about the legal procedure when a couple has problems. If you google it there is lots and lots about your rights and so on but no outline for dummies about what actually happens.
Basically I am waiting for a letter to plop on the mat that says "I'm your wife's solicitor and she's divorcing you so pack your bags and [censored] off ." But mediation is supposed to fit somewhere into it, isn't it? And what's the difference between separation and divorce and what are all these organization that get involved?
It would really help me and maybe other newbies if posters could talk us through the procedure and include some hints and tips. SuperProud Dad was posting the other day that he thought not meeting aggression with aggression was an important point in his favour. That was really helpful to read.
Had another go on Google and found this. Outline and list of terms. Must have been looking in the wrong place before:
http://www.divorceaid.co.uk/legal/process.htm
Useful for newbies like me.
Still trying to find out about 'mandatory mediation'. Found articles from years ago saying it was going to be introduced and should be a big help but still getting the impression from the site above that it's not mandatory and not really important.
Starting to feel there's something of a divorce industry that basically pushes you towards divorce in a similar way so-called pregnancy advice pushes you towards abortion. In other words beginning to suspect that mediation might be available but once you're in the system nobody wants to lose a client. Too cynical?
I'm sure it's different for everyone but my experiences were regarding access to the children. Mediation was simple enough in that we both attended (separately for the first appointment) and then came to an agreement with each other about how often I could have the children. I knew this was going to break down and in truth it was something necessary to start court proceedings. As predicted, I was right. Things broke down very quickly.
As for the mediators, they're there as impartial people and in my case I honestly believe they were impartial. Their job was to simply provide a way for us to move forward without one party being able to control the other, but this is pretty much done with the idea that if one party backs out of whatever you're agreeing then court action is the next step. Maybe it works for other people but because of the history of my case I knew it wouldn't. If you do wish to progress to court it's mandatory that they give their stamp to the courts to say that mediation hasn't worked out.
Hi There,
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Mediation is mandatory if you are trying to attend court over child contact matters, if you are just looking at divorce without child contact issues, then you don't have to attend mediation.
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I know you have children involved with your partner/ex, and if you aren't able to agree on contact with her then mediation would be required before you could apply to court for thier help.
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When it comes to the divorce, then you don't have to attend mediation as said, but you can do and sitting in a room together with someone promoting conversation and compromise, you may manage to reach an agreement which would save you from having to go through divorce court which could be costly.
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I am quite well versed in the divorce proccess so if you have any questions directly about your case that you don't want to post on the public forum then feel free to send me a message and I will try and help.
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GTTS
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