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Hi
I'm New to the forum but I think I'll be a regular soon! haha.
Right I'm not sure where to start but I Have two children with a former partner.
this was over 3/4 years ago now and she has another baby with her current partner who isn't any better than she is.
Basically I've had enough of the way she tries to treat me, Like I am some sort of moron, Ringing me up while I'm at work
shouting and hollering that I don't do enough for these kids, The bottom line is no matter how hard I try or what I do with them
I am always wrong or I'm a deadbeat father who should be dead (That was the last convo I had two days ago) , I currently pay 40
pounds a week which I think is reasonable ONLY because I know it doesn't actually go to the kids, They probably wouldn't even
know I have been doing that for the last year or two. I know it probably will cost me more to go through csa or whatever the new one is now.
but I am not in the best well paid job at the moment and that will improve over time. I am so frustrated as I cannot deal with her anymore literally driving me insane.
I cannot go anywhere without being judged. I have no fixed abode or have anywhere I call home, I am between houses to houses.
What would be the best solution to dealing with this situation, Is the best way forward to go through courts?
Thanks for listening to me. Bit of a rant I guess!!
Hi Maff
I'm not sure what advice you're asking for really...is it advice about maintenance or about contact with your kids?
It must be hard not having your own home and I would think this would impact on the the quality of your contact with your kids...are you seeing rthem at the moment?
I think your first step would be to try and sort out your lack of permanent accommodation, if you can get a place sorted that would help your situation, as initiating the steps to get some firm contact arrangements in place would be difficult to achieve if you don't have a place to take your kids.
If you were to go through the CMS they would calculate your payment as a percentage of your gross income, which for two children would be 16% I think.
I appreciate it can't be easy, especially if you are getting abuse, so I'm sorry I can't give you anything more constructive.... Best of luck
If you answer calls from her and she is abusive then put the phone down and ignore future calls. No one should take this. What age are your kids? If you can just speak direct with kids about contact arrangements when you get your own place.ignore all contact from ex and keep abusive texts and say if she doesn't stop you will see solicitor.
I would certainly try to avoid speaking with her verbally and try to communicate via email or text only - it might diffuse things somewhat.
You can check here what you should be paying by law
http://www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator/
I'm not clear what you're asking advice on either to be honest. If you want to sort out finances and contact, you could try mediation and deal with both issues there.
If you want to sort out contact, the first step is mediation and ultimately court, if mediation is unsuccessful.
Good luck
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