[Solved] Not sure what I do next

did you self-represent at court? sounds like a very bad order. my ex tried rubbish so that i only get sat-sun overnights, but failed.

courts can be weird like that. at first hearing they order something which was harsh for ex. for her to give me a private room at her place, so i can spend 30 mins every saturday there with the baby :p at the final hearing i am told they can not order at what age i can have the baby overnight. and that it has to be something agreed between me and ex. we kind of agreed in principle that overnights gradually start, from around age 2. have to see what happens. i have no problem going back to court if she be's retarded again. my other kid started overnights from age 2 and half.

stopping maintenance payments will land you in trouble. law says we have to pay, even if we dont see the child. see what cms calculator site says how much to pay and you pay that. if i was in your shoes i would go back to court, get order varied to include full overnights.

Yes I did represent myself at court. The judge was terrible and I felt it was everybody against me. My ex played the perfect person saying that she was doing everything she possibly could blah blah blah and lieing through her back teeth yet then as soon as we leave court she's back to the same old vindictive person who is not willing to co operate in any way shape or form.

As I am not named as the father on the birth certificate and there has never been a DNA test is maintenance still mandatory.

Thankyou to everyone for all your guidance and replies. It really helps to be able to speak to others going through the same rubbish. I often feel alone as no one in my life can really understand what I'm going through.

Disagreements about parentage

When someone denies they’re the parent of a child, the Child Maintenance Service will:

ask them for evidence proving they’re not the parent
tell the other parent what’s happened and ask for evidence to prove parentage
If there’s no evidence to prove they’re not the parent, the Child Maintenance Service can:

ask both parents to take a DNA test
ask the courts to make a decision
Assumed parentage

The Child Maintenance Service can assume parentage if the person named as the parent:

was married to the child’s mother at any time between the conception and birth of the child (unless the child was adopted)
is named on the child’s birth certificate (unless the child was adopted)
has taken a DNA test that shows they’re the parent
has legally adopted the child
is named in a court order as the parent when the child was born to a surrogate mother
If parentage is assumed, they’ll work out a child maintenance amount. The person named as the parent has to pay this until they can prove that they’re not the parent.

Paying child maintenance during a disagreement
When a child maintenance amount has already been worked out, the person named as the parent has to pay until they can provide evidence they’re not the parent.

When the amount has not been worked out, the service managing the case will not work it out or ask for payment until the disagreement has been sorted out.

If the person is found to be the parent, the amount of child maintenance they have to pay will be back-dated.

Named person proves they’re not the parent
When this happens, the Child Maintenance Service may:

refund any payments made after the date they first denied they were the parent, or offset the amount against maintenance for another child
refund the cost of any DNA tests arranged through the service
They may also ask the other parent to pay back any child maintenance.

Refunds depend on the circumstances of each case.

https://www.gov.uk/manage-child-maintenance-case/disagreements-about-parentage

So if my ex decided to try and claim through CSA that may be good for me as it will prove I am the father.
Being the spiteful person she is though I think she would just go without maintenance payments rather than add my name to the birth certificate.
I have paid £150 a month since birth and all she ever does is ask for more.

Check the CMS calculator to see what you'd be paying, and if it's to your advantage, then open a case yourself (£20 one off fee) and pay as agreed, it makes it safer for you (in case mother opens a case and CMS can't contact you, you'll build up arrears and they may disregard what you're already paying) and also gives you control to close the case when the time comes. You are only obliged to pay that, and nothing more. It won't necessarily help in getting your name on the birth certificate, but apart from the principle of doing so, it doesn't really give you much practical advantage in doing so. However, you can apply to the courts to have this done anyway, and I think it would require a DNA test as proof, so the maintenance wouldn't be relevant anyway.