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Hi
I need advice i left my family home on May day this year due to the state of the relationship with the ex.
I left because over the years things had become worse and there had been violence from her on me infront of my children in the end aftr my mom died i did hit back (which i regret) and i have been accused 2 times of molesting my step daughter and 1 time by her brother of the same offence none of which went to court and were proved untrue.
I have just recieved a non molestation order and wish to contest it.It does not state i cannot see my children.
She has removed the phones from my children and since i have left she has blocked my number so now i am not able to text or call my children to make sure they know i love them.
The way all this started was on satuday the 4th i dropped my children home and called them later to see if they were ok which they were and i found out she wasnt there stupidly due to my emotions i called her stating i knew she had met someone else and told her id sent her an email saying that i loved her and always would and wished her the best for the future.
We were together for 15 years and i wont lie leaving has really killed me but i done what i did for my kids after that i called my children later during the night to wish them goodnight (21:30) and i didnt get an answer from either child so i persisted and in the end i got hold of my younger son i asked was his mom home and he said yes but soon after found out he was lying.
She has previously gone out drinking and not coe home leaving the children overnight on there own so you could imagine my concerns so i called the police my son had warned her what i was doing in enough time that she could get home and the police did nothing when they showed up 2 hours later.
The next day she called me stating that it was the last time id talk to her and i stated that we need to talk for the kids sake so far any contact between us she has done by instructing my sons to call me.
In the order it states i cannot contact intimidate or harrass her which i understand BUT she has also named the children on this stating i am calling her and them 30 times a day.The reason i have done this is because she has removed the kids phones from them and instructed them to not contact me ( i have a phone recording of my son stating this and also admitting the reasons of me calling the police).
I feel i have been set up i know i can fight it and win but due to all the things she has put me through over the years i worry that are my children really safe?
What can i do?
I have had no contact now for a week and i wont lie its killing me they are the reason i left and the only thing i feel i have left now.
Hi there
I'm sorry to hear about all your problems and the loss of your mother...it must be a very distressing time for you.
Unfortunately, as she has named the children on the NMO it would be advisable not to make contact at this time.
It's best to get the NMO case over first before attempting to move child contact forward, if you try beforehand any case you open for contact is likely to be adjourned.
You would normally be required to attend mediation, but if the NMO case is found, this won't be appropriate and you can then apply for a Child Arrangements Order for contact.
Best get the NMO over first, I know it's really difficult for you being away from your children but you must be strong for them and make sure you look after yourself, taking care of the basics like eating properly and getting enough sleep.
We are here if you need to talk....weekends are fairly quiet but I'm sure others will be along to give some support in the next few days....Concentrate on dealing with the NMO, perhaps by writing a statement and attach any evidence you have to back it up.
Best of luck
I did get some legal advice and they gave me the idea of calling her solicitor to get the phones given back to them so i can talk to them. i have been able talk to my children today which has helped but im still worried.
Due to the fact there was violence on both sides can she get away with this.
She is also stating that i have called her names and complained about the state of the house neither of which are true.
How much does this cost to contest?
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