[Solved] non molestation and occupation order

Hi there

I’m sorry to hear that you have been thrown into this situation...If you’ve read other members posts, you will understand that your ex’s behaviour isn’t uncommon.

You will be given the opportunity to answer the allegations, your solicitor should explain the next steps to you.

You might be given the option to accept the NMO as an undertaking, but my personal opinion is that if the allegations are false and she can have no evidence to back up her claims, it’s worth contesting it.

If you have been having regular contact with your son since you left, then she can’t have considered you a risk! If she agreed to handovers to and from the family home, again she can’t have been at all fearful of you, which is a point your solicitor should make.

The fact that her allegations and claim for child maintenance have coincided with you withdrawing full financial support from her is also pertinent.

Speak to your solicitor about making application, within the existing proceedings, for a Child Arrangements Order. The judge might want to put child arrangements on hold until the NMO is finalised, but it’s worth trying to get it included in the one case.

With the allegations that have been made, the court are likely to take a cautious approach to contact resuming, youcould ask for supervised contact with a trusted family member, or perhaps for contact to resume in a contact centre whilst investigations are made.

If you find the financial pressures too much, you can decide to represent yourself, it is doable and our members have had much success taking that route.

However if you can afford to retain your solicitor for the NMO, it might be better for your case to do so, considering the allegations that have been made. Another option might be to do some of the groundwork yourself and instruct a direct access barrister for the final,hearing.

All the best

Thanks for your reply ... i was going to represent myself but is there any risk to me criminaly with her lies and is it best to appoint a solicitor?

At the moment, it’s in civil court and it doesn’t automatically become a criminal matter, but due to the nature of the allegations, if she were to repeat these allegations to the police, it’s highly likely,they would want to investigate it.

If she has no evidence to back it up, criminal charges probably wouldn’t follow, but it’s likely to effect any child arrangements application, making the process more difficult and much slower.

The onus of proof in civil court is far less than in criminal proceedings, and allegations, even unproven, are often subject to finding of fact hearings, where the judge can decide against a party with very little proof.

If you represent yourself, you may be pushed towards accepting an undertaking... it’s easier for the courts as it’s a quick resolution, you can ask for an undertaking that doesn’t accept any wrong doing, or a cross undertaking that is given to both parties to abide by said conditions.

Personally, I think if someone is completely innocent of the allegations, they should contest the allegations...the party making the allegations would then be asked to provide proof of the allegations. That said, a judge can find in that parties favour with the flimsiest of proof... there’s no way of knowing which way the judge will lean, it’s a suck it and see scenario I’m afraid.

With allegations of a sexual nature, if you can afford legal representation, it might be advantageous to do so... or as I said before, do the initial stages yourself and pay for a direct access barrister for the final hearing.

thanks agin for your reply ... who accepts the undertaking is it the judge to rule or my ex wife to accept ... i know she wont accept anything and is quite prepared to drag this trough the courts.. as she is on legal aid and im paying.. she is after 100% of the equity of the property or have me remaining paying for it . she has told me this many times .

You can ask for it to be considered, your ex can try and refuse it, but it will be the judges decision I think. Judges have autononomy in their courtroom, it’s almost impossible to second guess, my advice is to,prepare the best case you can, learn as much as you can and present yourself as calm and reasonable, putting your childs best interests at the forefront of everything.

In my opinion she’s dreaming if she thinks she’s getting 100% of the equity... generally if you aren’t married, she wouldn’t be entitled to anything, except maintenance for the child.

Hopefully your solicitor is giving you the right advice.

All the best

Hi I’ve recently had a non mol served on me well not really it wasn’t served in person but let’s not beat about the bush.

My ex and I broke up in November after an argument coming down from weed and not having any. It got physical when she hit me with the entire contents of the freezer and I end up getting arrested for shouting and supposedly having a knife which was never found at all via a police search.

Now all of a sudden I’ve been served with a non mol which states I had been abusive from early on in our relationship which is laughable. A lot of her claims are false and dated wrongly and my father can provide witness statements to disprove a lot of her claims too as she stayed with myself at my fathers where I was a tennant.

She also made claims that she was worried about me during our relationship but I have messages between us for more than a year which shows we had what I would say a loving relationship. She’s also not mentioned our cannabis habit at all to anyone which she enjoyed a lot of btw.

I plan to defend this as I feel her mum has manipulated her into this thinking it will be easy pickings but I can guarantee it won’t and want the best for my child which is time with her dad.

I was also allowed my child three times unsupervised before contact was stopped another sign that she doesn’t think I’m a danger?

well things couldnt get any worse they have ... was arrested and currently on bail with these false allegations at my witts end ..

I’m really sorry to hear this, did the police give you any indication about how long you might be on bail? At this point, it’s your word against yours and I think it will be up to the CPS to decide if they want to take it further and charge you.

The court may want to wait and see what happens with this before moving it forward, but your solicitor should advise you about it, if you can, I would advise that your have a solicitor act for you, due to the seriousness of your case.

You could speak to your solicitor about writing to her solicitor to request supervised contact at a contact centre.

Best place f luck