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Hi
My son is approaching secondary school and I have had a shared 50:50 residence order since he was 5. He has been very happy and has always come despite pressure otherwise from his Mum. Recently my son suddenly told me he didn't want to see me anymore. I haven't seen him or had contact since.
On visiting for contact or trying to call his mother or my son coldly say they don't want to see me. My sons mother has never wanted me to have contact. I believe he is being manipulated. He is receiving counselling and I am speaking to the counsellor. I am hoping this allows him to speak his voice. I have sent cards/letters to try to reinstate contact but nothing has worked so far.
It is a heartbreaking. Has anyone got any advice. Should I try to sit it out and hope he comes back / return to court and risk losing my shared residence order / seek social work support on the grounds of mothers mental health and emotional abuse?
Hi there
I can appreciate how difficult and distressing this must be for you.
The process of going back to court involves mediation, perhaps you could try this to see if you and your ex can find some agreement.
If your son is receiving counselling then he has some problems to work through, if it were me I think I'd step back for a little while and see how this goes. At least you're in contact with the counsellor and so they're aware of the current difficulties between you all... have they given any advice?
Sometimes the threat of enforcement for breaching the existing order is enough to,get it moving, but that could backfire.... if she is manipulating your son, this could just provide ammunition for her to use... your son is confused enough.
Court should always be the last resort, so my advice is to give it a little time, perhaps a weekly/fortnightly card, just to let him know you love him and the door will always be open to him. Hopefully he will come round.
All the best
I agree with mojo to see how it goes for a while, but I wouldn't worry about going back to court if necessary - you said you're worried about losing your 50:50, but in reality, you have already lost it because it's not being adhered to, so you don't have that to lose anyway, and even if you get less contact, but it's enforced, you are still better off than you are now. However, I'm not advocating that you should give up the 50:50 - you want to fight to try to keep that.
Thank you. It is so difficult to know what is best as there is currently no communication. I will do all I can to resolve matters out of court and restore communication.
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