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Hi guys, i'm not going to go in depth about this, we've all been there, or are currently going through it. Anyway, due to my daughters mothers actions, i have not seen my daughter since she was 3 mnths old, she'll be 6 at the end of the year. I don't know her, i know nothing about her, and more than likely, it's the same for her too. I did all the begging for several yrs so that i could see my daughter, but her mother got pure enjoyment by not allowing this to happen . eventually, the time came where i had no option but to call it a day and walk away and start a new life without any of that hindering me.i am no longer bitter, been there, done that, that's all an old life to me. Now whether people agree with the way i have dealt with it or not doesn't really affect me, we deal with things in our own way, and i was defo NEVER gonna sit by the phone and hope the mother would get in touch with me, that's not me, and it never will be me, even though that's what the mother expected of me, just to hang about in limbo until she decides time has come, well f**k her royally. I will NEVER step foot into the same building at the same time again as her mother, they will never see me again, and i will defo never go looking for either of them.(they have their lives, and i have mine)i have no interest in doing anything like that. I just want to know what i can do to stop my past from coming into my life again!. Any and all info is well appreciated, thanks everyone...
Hello midnite75,
It is very sad the mother denied you access to your daughter. You sound as though you are very hurt and angry (understandably)..
You ask, quote, "what I can do to stop my past from coming into my life again." I don't think there is anything you can do. You fathered a child and in so doing have responsibilities towards your daughter.
You yourself have decided, quote, "... they will never see me again, and I will defo never go looking for either of them." You have by what you write, decided you do not want contact or try to gain access to your daughter. Consequently you have banished them from your life by making the decision you have.
Please remember your daughter is totally innocent in all what has happened between you and her mother. One day when she is older she will enquire about her father and may come looking for you. I think this is easily a possibility as she would naturally want to know about you. If she did, what would be your reaction to your daughter when none of what has happened was her fault?
I don't think anyone who has been in your situation hasn't thought about walking away and giving up, and everyone does what they have to do.
There aren't any steps you can take to prevent your past coming in to your life again & if your daughter came to find you when she's older, how you react will be your decision.
I didn't have a relationship with my father growing up. I never got to the bottom of who caused the estrangement - I suspect it was a bit of both. What I can tell you is that a relative saw my bio dad when I was in my late 20's and asked to be put in touch. We tentatively began communicating and then he disappeared. It caused a lot of pain and issues for me. It's something to bear in mind.
Thank you for your comment, firstly can i say that i'm sorry that u had to grow up without having your father in your life, i understand the affect that can have on a child, especially a little girl. now can i just say this, i never chose the path that was set out in front of me, that was completely forced upon me by the mother. now i am not saying that i didn't contribute to the break-up, cause i did, we both did. the mother became a different person after she gave birth, always [censored]'n and causing arguments which i grew to hate, which resulted in us constantly arguing and then splitting up. But in NO way did i have anything to do with destroying the relationship between father and daughter, that was completely and totally all the mothers doing. more and more she just kept on damaging the father daughter relationship until no more damage could be sustained and eventually it was destroyed. no more effort will ever come from myself, there has been no contact at all between myself and the mother in over 4yrs, we have no contact details for each other, and no way of getting in touch with each other, and as far as i'm concerned, this is the way it will remain, the way it has to remain. I just want to know what legal ways i can stop them from ever trying to contact me!. I mean the mothers can do it, so why can't the fathers if so wish...
There isn't a legal way to stop that happening.....
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