Nmo order

Hi

It's [censored] and difficult being in this situation. 

Have you taken any legal advice? Are you certain she hasn't reported matters to the police? 

1st thing, just because no police or social services involved does not mean there was no domestic abuse and that there are no safe guarding concerns. Also just because she lives 60 miles away does not mean she will not get an NMO as its there to protect her in lots of different ways eg social media or WhatsApp contact etc. Or third party harassment. 

Agree that many exs make allegations to secure legal aid. 

You have to remove emotions and think clearly and calmly and tackle the allegations. Just saying their malicious will not be enough. If you have evidence or witnesses to refute then that's a great start. Often it is a case of minor arguments blown out of proportion but you have to add context and explanations.

Once your ex has decided to go down this route you have to accept its not going to be quick as there are many court stages to go through and due to Covid there are delays. It is better to be prepared. 

You do not want an NMO or an undertaking as these will make it difficult to get contact until the end of court process.

In the meantime do you have any mutual friends or family willing to facilitate contact? Your kids are quite young so it has to be someone familiar and someone your ex would agree to. Being 60 miles away doesn't help but it's not impossible.

You should also look up contact centres and using them too.. Not having her address makes it difficult but it is something to suggest at court.

All the best.. 

@daddy-up had police call me but stated no case to answer...and police calling advice call not to contact her which since that date I’ve not sent or attempted to contact her..prior to police saying not to contact I was only ever trying to ask her how kids were and if need anything nothing malicious..there is a nmo against me I’ve just not been served it as yet that’s why I’m asking what’s best route to go down..ie take undertaking or refute allegations..also you say helps if witness..nothing has ever happened for there to be witness to something also it’s surely she is the one that needs to make sure there is evidence to support her claim as much as I can talking about incident that she could allege..very focused and positive on any thing she throws at me..obviously this being a forum I will say put things out in more negative way to release frustration..just best advice to get access to my kids whilst this is going on in the courts..no chance on 3 party family member as she’s blocked everyone in my family again to hurt me further as can never get update regarding kids 

With the police call regarding contact officer acknowledged I was asking about my kids as she just left property no explanation so again was I just supposed no why she left when had no answers why she left so contact was made to ask to me done nothing wrong again just used harassment another excuse 

@daddy-up also once I receive the nmo will I state all the allegations dates of that kept till after first hearing 

Hi

When I say witnesses, I mean from a positive point of view. That you had a good/great relationship, that the allegations (depending on what they are) are not in your character, that you are a positive hands on parent etc.. 

Yes the onus is on her to prove her allegations, however remember it's not to a criminal standard (beyond reasonable doubt) but to civil court standard (balance of probability) which can make it a little tricky. The fact police have NFA the matter is positive.

If it hasn't been served on you, was it the police who told you about it? Have you got a date for hearing yet? 

Yes the NMO has a statement attached with the allegations that led to it being issued. However, sometimes more can be alleged at the hearing. That's why your response in general is important, so that anything new also seems contrary to what you are saying.. 

Challenging NMOs is difficult as courts lean on the side of caution. Ensuring that you don't breach is vital evidence too.. Having clear timeliness showing what you did, when and why (asking about kids, stopping as a result of conversation with police) is also helpful. 

In answer to whether you should refute or accept undertaking, you should refute.. Anything else and it impacts access to the kids. 

Have you had contact from her solicitors are anything as yet? 

As I've said, the process isn't quick, your kids being young makes it more of a challenge as without 3rd party support you will need your ex to facilitate contact..

When you say blocked family contact do you mean social media? I wouldn't rule this route out as it could be something to suggest at court even as an interim solution to ensure you see the kids. However you will need someone reliable who can stay impartial without annoying/upsetting your ex.

Hope this helps. 

@daddy-up obviously all family members can be witness in my character and being helpful hands on dad..friends wise where we was living no friends only women that she met through the eldest boys home Ed classes...yeah she not only blocked me on all devices also my family and they had great relationships with her also the kids so that’s why struggle on 3 party contact..

@daddy-up no contact from her solicitors and housing officer made obviously massive mistake in stating that’s proceedings against me when I’ve been in contact about the house which is joint tenancy so big head up on that part 

Ok, so the housing officer told you that an NMO has been awarded? It's strange it's not been served on you yet. 

At some point you are going to have to consider submitting C100 to the courts to apply for contact with children.. 

Consider getting some free legal advice.. Solicitors give 30 mins free... 

@daddy-up I done my c100 received by judge on 16/2/21 oh she * yo telling me cause then tried backtracking making out was supposed to talking about someone else * she knew she * up and brilliant that I got heads up as been able to get as much info as possible 

@daddy-up or could be case my application got to the courts first ?? That’s why delay in everything..I know she’s been granted legal aid but that is applied before nmo yes or no ?? 

Hi

Yes generally legal aid is sorted prior to NMO, however it is possible to file for NMO without legal advice too..