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Hi all, i dont really know how to explain how I feel right now. Basically I slept with a prostitute a few weeks ago and now I feel so gulity. I split up (i left) with the ex 3 years ago. I havent been close to, been with or even spent anytime with a woman since then (its been my child 100%) but just one late night mad (sober as well) decision that I needed something like that. I knew the risks and I insisted on protection, I'm not worried about that as such. But now when im with my child, I feel so ashamed that dad could do such a thing.
I drunkenly let slip of the fact on a works party last week, I trust the person that i told but part of the guilty low feeling is if the ex finds out. I really think she would stop me seeing my child. Hopefully it wont come to that. Access has never been a problem, never been a war and I provide financial support well.
I'm just in a low place generally, and dont like to burden people with my issues. Most of the time a brave face is put on but I'm starting to despise happy content people, its awful of me. As again, I'm hoping for a fresh new year - one can hope.
Hi and welcome. I can sort of understand where you are coming from, but ultimately, you were both consenting adults and no one else is affected by this, so I don't see it should be an issue. I certainly don't see that your ex or your child should ever know - it's simply not relevant to them or their relationship with you.
It might be worth going to see your GP - you know that the conversation is strictly confidential and he might be able to suggest some relevant counselling to help you to come to terms with your feelings.
Hello just-another-day,
I write the following believing you to be a single man with no wife or partner.
In my opinion you should definitely NOT feel guilty or ashamed. You had a need, it was fulfilled. No one has been hurt by your actions. In fact, many people may disagree with me but I personally think it is a sensible thing to do as long as you are sober at the time, choose an appropriate woman and take sensible precautions. The sooner it is legalized the better in my opinion.
Some people are very biased, judgemental, hypocritical and love to take the high ground regarding prostitution . To avoid this type of reaction, I would NOT tell anyone! Concerning the friend you told whilst you were a bit tipsy, if it is ever mentioned deny it and say "it was the drink talking." I do not advocate telling an untruth but in this case I think you are justified in doing so especially if you know there could be repercussions from your ex.
Think of the people who have casual [censored]. This can result in health problems and unwanted babies.
Think of the people who have extra marital affairs. This can often lead to the destruction of whole families.
Think of the person who visits a prostitute, if discreet and precautions taken, no one gets hurt and satisfaction gained!
Be kind to yourself. You haven't done anything wrong and you should not feel guilty or ashamed. Some people use them regularly.
Best wishes from an old fashioned Gran.
Thank you for all your replies. I will heed your advice about a GP visit. I need someone to talk to, I dont have anyone to offload to and I dont want to talk to my parents about recent events and how Ive been feeling. My child is round tonight and she is cheering me up with her playing, I'm holding back the tears watching her play.
I've realised and disappointed that I will have to tick the relevant box on the blood donor form, I never thought of that. I enjoy giving blood - I'm not going to bother going now. Even though I insisted on protection I will get myself checked out and I can put this whole episode behind me.
...you can always come here when you need to talk, we are always happy to listen and support where we can.
There's absolutely no reason why you can't continue to donate blood, have a chat with your GP and ask if they can do the relevant tests, to put your mind at rest. Once you have the all clear, which I'm sure will be the case, you can hopefully let go of all the negative feelings you've been having...no one needs to know.
Perhaps the recent event was just the catalyst for you and you were perhaps feeling depressed before this. Talk to the doctor about how low you are feeling generally and hopefully he can help. If you get very low you might think about calling the Samaritans, they are really very good and will not judge you.
Best of luck
speak to the blood donation service and see what they say. I'm very passionate about people doing this as they need all of the donors they can get - wouldn't it be better that you know for certain, rather than just making the assumption that you can't.
Thank you for your advice,I dont like leaving posts unanswered.
About the blood donation, I have pushed back to April and will see my GP about the test and also my state of mind. I have to change as I can only see this getting worse and it start to drift in to my child's relationship of which I would have for her to notice as she grows and becomes more aware.
Feel better now as I'm off work until after the new year π
Merry Christmas to all here.
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